The wake is incessant and kind of annoying.

We went kayaking on Bass Lake, just outside Yosemite, Beloved and I, during our weekend vacation.

Well, my weekend vacay, as we’re here until Thursday while I work starting Monday. She’s still enjoying the benefits of our 2008 agreement … I work, she raises the kids. The Boy graduated high school in 2015, and she’s stayed retired.

Before you say anything, I totally got the better end of the deal. I’m not serving 20 to life which woulda happened had our roles been reversed.

And all I have to do is say “honey I’m running low on…” and it magically appears on the bathroom counter, in the fridge, whatever.

It is seriously awesome having a stay at home spouse. I highly recommend it.

Back to the review.

We rented two single kayaks from Bass Lake Water Sports. Not as highly recommended as the spouse.

But let’s face it, anyone who knows us or reads this blog is aware competing with Beloved on the amazing scale is engaging in a losing proposition.

There I go again, wandering off topic.

So… Bass Lake Water Sports.

The good: we got there waaaaaay early and they accommodated us. Of course we got there way early because the instructions said arrive an hour before your appointment time.

Good little soldiers we, arrived at 8:02 for our 9am paddle.

By 8;10 they wanted to know if we wanted to get breakfast first or just go.

Pffft! Lemme at it.

The other good: okay, it’s the Sierra Nevada. How can it not be glorious on a lake?

Buuuuuut… here comes the bad: waiting, waiting, waiting at the end for someone to notice we came back. I blew my requisite emergency whistle twice in frustration and still nothing. Probably ten minutes of employees not seeing us, or maybe preoccupied with the gasoline powered craft.

Which brings me to the next maybe not bad but not great… we were the only people who didn’t need to sign the disclosure that we had to pay for our fuel separately.

That, in and of itself isn’t so bad… but it meant this 3.5 mile lake was choppier than some oceans on which we’ve kayaked. Constant wake. We had to stay on the shore side of the large orange buoys, and the motorized pontoon boats, sea-doos, jet boats with water skis… they were on the other side.

It’s like when I was a kid flying 11 hours LAX – LHR in the 1970s and the smoking section’s boundary changed based on the ratio of smokers. Yeah, there was segregation but hoo, didn’t make a lotta difference.

Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy.

Still, we’re on the lake, it’s a beautiful day, what’s not to love?

The ugly wasn’t appalling by any stretch but it wasn’t great either, and it’s the reason I’d rate this place 3 of 5 stars.

It got the job done but I didn’t see any evidence that people cared.

The kayak was dirty and had trash in/on it – half a paddle padding torn off and river weeds.

The paddle was held together with peeling electrical tape, had only one drip ring with no padding (maybe sitting on the prow?) and the paint was chipping off.

And the drink holder was half full of slimy river water. Blech. Who wants to risk drinking nasty water after your bottle has been floating in it?

But… we were floating on the water on one of the cleanest lakes around, according to Beloved (this lake… well, actually, it’s a reservoir… is filled by snow runoff so the water is fairly clear, and it’s only 40 to 60-odd feet deep.)

Bass Lake was originally known as Crane Valley, because the settlers in the 1850s didn’t know a crane from a great blue heron.

Can’t really fault them, I would have no idea either. I mean, one has a red head?

Also, there wasn’t a lake there, it didn’t appear until the local electric company dammed up the joint in 1901… who knew hydroelectric power gained momentum in 1895? Damn those oil barons, our environmental forefathers got screwed.

Or more accurately, they screwed each other. San Joaquin Electric, who created the Bass Lake reservoir, got forced out not by Rockefeller or his ilk but by Fresno Gas & Electric, who decided to divert the snowmelt away from SJE using a mile long ditch. Bastards.

Buuuuuuuuut… SJE stockholders got the last laugh… they went through bankruptcy (sucked) but a couple years later were able to purchase Fresno Gas & Electric’s electric system for $25K. Less than 25 years later, SJE got itself (and the remnants of Fresno G&E) sold to PG&E for $114 million. Ha-ha.