Category: Uncategorized

Oh, my GOD, said the cat. You STINK!

Dog: what you mean Cat, recoiling: you smell horrendous. I mean, not that you don’t on an average day, but crap on a cracker, you are appalling. Dog: I got chased by water it was grubby Cat: Maaaan, I knew you were dim, but chased by WATER?! Maybe the walking can opener tried to shoot … Continue reading Oh, my GOD, said the cat. You STINK! →

The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock.

Cat: what the f😳ck is THAT?!! Me:  what does it look like? Dog, pacing in her crate upstairs to the extent it will allow: I can’t see I can’t see Cat:  you did NOT.  Dog: What? WHAT The 11 week old golden retriever shifted a little in my arms, unaccustomed to this new place.  Our little visitor… … Continue reading The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock. →

The puppy is preparing for the wrong profession.

Yes, she’ll probably make a terrific service dog, but seriously, there’s something else to which she would be far more suited. My baby should be in pictures. This girl is more dramatic than Sarah Bernhardt. The performance she gave in front of the neighbor’s house while wearing her Halti was of Oscar caliber. She’s spent … Continue reading The puppy is preparing for the wrong profession. →

104F (40C) is much, much worse in the UK than the US.

I can say that with authority as I started yesterday in London and ended in Los Angeles, and both had heat that high. Aside from it being a dry heat in LA, everything is air conditioned. We have this heat thing DOWN, windows open early, use the whole house fan to drain the attic of … Continue reading 104F (40C) is much, much worse in the UK than the US. →

Well, we’re still married. And we shared a double kayak.

Miracles will never cease, as we’re not divorced. Oh, my god. I’d sworn never, ever to share a kayak with Beloved again, but along comes the opportunity on the River Thames. But only, ONLY in a double. Who can resist? No, seriously, I can do this! For a mere £65 each we were taken on … Continue reading Well, we’re still married. And we shared a double kayak. →

My father haunts us by lowering the level crossing gates.

He used to get so frustrated as my aunt lives just beyond a busy rail line into London, and it seemed every time he wanted to drive across… dingdingding, red lights flashing and Daddy would curse like a sailor. “Bloody British Rail!” he’d roar as he skidded to a stop. So now, whenever we get … Continue reading My father haunts us by lowering the level crossing gates. →

Dismounting from an English bathtub should be an Olympic sport.

I know I’ve said it before, but honestly, it’s difficult to wrap your head around who thought those were a good idea. We’re staying in a lovely little AirBnB in Surrey. It’s a “maisonette” according to the advert, but not exactly because it’s only on one floor - a maisonette is generally a two story … Continue reading Dismounting from an English bathtub should be an Olympic sport. →