What a hideous time to start traveling. You can hardly keep your eyes open, waiting to board that damn airplane. Boarding time, 5:25 am, came and went. Finally, the gate agents admitted the interior emergency lights weren’t working. Unnngh, it’s a 6am flight from LAX - Chicago… if there’s an emergency, how much light do … Continue reading It all started at 4:30 am at LAX.
Me: what? Cat: I thought she was supposed to chew dental sticks. That ding dong thinks it’s a popsicle. Me: no, she’s not. I glance at the dog, who appears fascinated with the living room carpet. Me: oi! Doggo! Don’t lick the carpet! (Snurfling, snorting sounds from the side of the sofa…) Licking rapidly turned … Continue reading “She’s licking it,” said the cat.
Me: I'm the beta? Dog, puzzled: Uh... no... I'm the beta Beta dog second in command Me: then what does that make... me? Dog: ooooooomoggadog Me, confused: what?? MaeMae (the cat) shaking her head and sighing: God, you did NOT study in Greek class, did you? Omega, ding dong, omega and you are the omega. The end. The last. I'm beta, she's … Continue reading “You da alpha!” Beamed the dog, gazing at Beloved.
MaeMae (the cat) walked up to the crappy little fence that prevents the dog from leaping onto the back bank as we were out there burning off some energy. As I’ve said before, this “fence” has the tensile strength of dollar store gift wrap. More accurately, the dog burns off energy... I just get more … Continue reading “Come here,” commanded the cat.
Me: Get back here, you miserable object! The dog attempted to giggle with a mouthful of rocks. UNNGH, the last time we got caught in this predicament that blasted canine busted out a baby tooth by chewing on the granite. Me, attempting to be calm: Drop. It. She gazed up at me, faked left and … Continue reading “CANNN CATH ME!!” Lisped the dog as she shot past me.
And with that, she left the bedroom - me, Beloved and Miss R (in her crate), newly returned from the puppy sitters. The puppy wasn't happy about being crated shortly after joyously returning home, but it was getting late. Blondie with the dog just after the pup got home. Miss R then demonstrated her shrieking prowess … Continue reading “That does it,” said the cat. “I’m calling in the big guns.”
Me: I know, right? I love the puppy but right now, this respite care is such a blessing. Cat: beg pardon? It sounded like you said respite care. I think you meant to say “no more dogs ever”. Me, snorting: you wish. Not sure how long she’ll be with the puppy sitter but until we … Continue reading “Thank god” said the cat, “peace and quiet again.”
So Granny (my mom) fell. We’re having bad winds here (not the burrito kind) and when she opened her car door while it was on a slope, a gust came up and knocked the door, and Granny, backwards onto her replaced hip. Waaaaay backwards, because of the slope. A wonderful neighbor came over and helped … Continue reading Ho ho ho hospital…
The cat paused. “Well. Isn’t THAT special.” I stared. “How the HELL do you know SNL’s Church Lady?! That was in the 1980s!” MaeMae the cat just shot me side eye. Puppy: no I mean REALLY special Me: How d’you mean? Puppy: Well I went to church today and I listened to Miss Julia talking … Continue reading “Am… am I special?” Asked the puppy…
Waymo. It’s Google’s answer to Uber and they’re quite common now in Phoenix. Distinguishable by the whirring camera on the roof and the ghostly appearance of no one at the wheel, I saw three of them during the week. There is seriously no-one controlling the vehicle. It’s fully autonomous. More sensitive than a teenager experiencing … Continue reading Riding in a car with no driver
Examining Misadventures 