Me: But then where does R___ sleep when she gets home? The puppy needs a crate. MaeMae (cat): I’m sorry… get… home? Me: C’mon, you know she’s coming back. She’ll be with us until February, when she goes to college. MaeMae: Why the hell would you take her back? Me: Excuse me? She’s in heat, … Continue reading You know, remarked the cat, if you get rid of those crates you’ll have more room in the house.
To enable our guide-dog-in-training puppies to experience different situations, our leaders coordinate a puppy swap. R___ is off next week to a lovely couple, and their puppy is going elsewhere. They also have a “career change” dog who decided not to be a service dog and let them know it. He is now their pet. … Continue reading The great puppy swap is coming!
Me: what? Cat: I thought she was supposed to chew dental sticks. That ding dong thinks it’s a popsicle. Me: no, she’s not. I glance at the dog, who appears fascinated with the living room carpet. Me: oi! Doggo! Don’t lick the carpet! (Snurfling, snorting sounds from the side of the sofa…) Licking rapidly turned … Continue reading “She’s licking it,” said the cat.
Me: I'm the beta? Dog, puzzled: Uh... no... I'm the beta Beta dog second in command Me: then what does that make... me? Dog: ooooooomoggadog Me, confused: what?? MaeMae (the cat) shaking her head and sighing: God, you did NOT study in Greek class, did you? Omega, ding dong, omega and you are the omega. The end. The last. I'm beta, she's … Continue reading “You da alpha!” Beamed the dog, gazing at Beloved.
MaeMae (the cat) walked up to the crappy little fence that prevents the dog from leaping onto the back bank as we were out there burning off some energy. As I’ve said before, this “fence” has the tensile strength of dollar store gift wrap. More accurately, the dog burns off energy... I just get more … Continue reading “Come here,” commanded the cat.
Me: Get back here, you miserable object! The dog attempted to giggle with a mouthful of rocks. UNNGH, the last time we got caught in this predicament that blasted canine busted out a baby tooth by chewing on the granite. Me, attempting to be calm: Drop. It. She gazed up at me, faked left and … Continue reading “CANNN CATH ME!!” Lisped the dog as she shot past me.
And with that, she left the bedroom - me, Beloved and Miss R (in her crate), newly returned from the puppy sitters. The puppy wasn't happy about being crated shortly after joyously returning home, but it was getting late. Blondie with the dog just after the pup got home. Miss R then demonstrated her shrieking prowess … Continue reading “That does it,” said the cat. “I’m calling in the big guns.”
The cat paused. “Well. Isn’t THAT special.” I stared. “How the HELL do you know SNL’s Church Lady?! That was in the 1980s!” MaeMae the cat just shot me side eye. Puppy: no I mean REALLY special Me: How d’you mean? Puppy: Well I went to church today and I listened to Miss Julia talking … Continue reading “Am… am I special?” Asked the puppy…
Puppy: Muffin Me, prying her jaws apart: You have something in there. Puppy: Muffin I got muffin Cat: I believe she's trying to say "nothing" while you have your hand fully down her throat. Me: You were chewing on something... I sighed, let the pup go, then spied something that looked like a sliver of … Continue reading What are you chewing on? I demanded.
Me: what do you mean? MaeMae the cat: you are suspiciously nervy. Looking around, MaeMae saw certain evidence… Cat, breathing in sharply: no. NO DON’T YOU DARE DAMMIT! Me: I don’t know what you’re talking about. OWWWWW…. This is a couple days old but damn that cooking fat bit my arm so hard it bruised. … Continue reading “Why are you so fidgety?” Demanded the cat.
Examining Misadventures 