Me: But then where does R___ sleep when she gets home? The puppy needs a crate. MaeMae (cat): I’m sorry… get… home? Me: C’mon, you know she’s coming back. She’ll be with us until February, when she goes to college. MaeMae: Why the hell would you take her back? Me: Excuse me? She’s in heat, … Continue reading You know, remarked the cat, if you get rid of those crates you’ll have more room in the house.
Me: I'm the beta? Dog, puzzled: Uh... no... I'm the beta Beta dog second in command Me: then what does that make... me? Dog: ooooooomoggadog Me, confused: what?? MaeMae (the cat) shaking her head and sighing: God, you did NOT study in Greek class, did you? Omega, ding dong, omega and you are the omega. The end. The last. I'm beta, she's … Continue reading “You da alpha!” Beamed the dog, gazing at Beloved.
MaeMae (the cat) walked up to the crappy little fence that prevents the dog from leaping onto the back bank as we were out there burning off some energy. As I’ve said before, this “fence” has the tensile strength of dollar store gift wrap. More accurately, the dog burns off energy... I just get more … Continue reading “Come here,” commanded the cat.
Me: Get back here, you miserable object! The dog attempted to giggle with a mouthful of rocks. UNNGH, the last time we got caught in this predicament that blasted canine busted out a baby tooth by chewing on the granite. Me, attempting to be calm: Drop. It. She gazed up at me, faked left and … Continue reading “CANNN CATH ME!!” Lisped the dog as she shot past me.
The cat paused. “Well. Isn’t THAT special.” I stared. “How the HELL do you know SNL’s Church Lady?! That was in the 1980s!” MaeMae the cat just shot me side eye. Puppy: no I mean REALLY special Me: How d’you mean? Puppy: Well I went to church today and I listened to Miss Julia talking … Continue reading “Am… am I special?” Asked the puppy…
Me: MaeMae! What have you got? The cat didn’t shift her gaze from the flower pot. Me: MaeMae! Struggling with the puppy, I tried to see what the cat had cornered. Miss R, the guide dog puppy in training, strained to get to the cat. Me: MaeMae! What are you doing? Cat, not breaking her … Continue reading “You’re mine now…” said the cat with an evil gleam.
Puppy: Muffin Me, prying her jaws apart: You have something in there. Puppy: Muffin I got muffin Cat: I believe she's trying to say "nothing" while you have your hand fully down her throat. Me: You were chewing on something... I sighed, let the pup go, then spied something that looked like a sliver of … Continue reading What are you chewing on? I demanded.
Both Beloved and the dog looked guilty. I had taken the cat out of the bedroom, growling and spitting, so she could have a break (and go potty). Treble, the visiting three year old career-changed former guide dog puppy, didn’t worry much about the cat, but MaeMae was not thrilled with an untethered dog wandering … Continue reading “What the HELL!” I yelped. “He’s in BED with you??”
Cat: you and who else? Treble, the dog we're sitting, blinked. Dog: you of course your head nearly touched mine Cat: Because I was watching to make sure you didn't attack. Dog: We met in the middle of the bed your sweet lizard breath on mine Cat: Gross! You realize you heave carbon dioxide more … Continue reading “I can’t believe it’s almost over…”sighed the dog, “we had a beautiful night together…”
My grandfather was a wonderful man, kind, generous, gentle. On one topic, however, there was no budging the man... and I suppose I get it, he served as a British captain in the Great War ("Did I march down the quay to the ship to cross the Channel? Good god noh, my deah, I rode... … Continue reading Our doggy visitor is remarkably like my grandfather.
Examining Misadventures 