I admit it. I did it.
I couldn’t help it. I’ve been patronizing your airport for 35+ years now, and I am seriously tired of flashing various strangers when I gotta pee. Those stalls are freaking ridiculous. You know I read an article (I think it was in the NYT) just recently about how Europeans gossip non-stop about our bathroom stalls?
Yours, gentlemen, are some of the WORST. I wait to go in the baggage claim area of Southwest because it has the old, worn plastic stalls from years of yore, never replaced, which are actually private. Everywhere else has the steel stalls with gaps you could drive a truck through.
Every woman who has passed through your airport is now nodding in agreement with me. Really they are.
So last Monday, as I slid through TSA PreCheck, casting furtive glances to each side, I guiltily collected my backpack with it’s (not-really) contraband…duct tape.
Yup. If you check with your cleaning ladies (or maybe they’ve already told you, who knows), I took duct tape not quite half doubled over so it made a flap with a sticky edge and slapped it down the sides of as many of the stalls as I could hit up before my Southwest flight boarded.
Sorry it doesn’t look terribly professional – damn, that stuff is freaking sticky, it’s hard to control! – but it gets the job done. No more do you have a roaring breeze around your nether regions, and you can pop off your panties in private.
I only managed to get to the loos by gate 1 – I started by gate 4, but then…well, I had an A group, and while I want privacy, I also don’t want a center seat.
I’ll be back at the airport again later this week. Although…you might consider putting in a more permanent, professional looking solution. It wouldn’t cost THAT much. Please?
Follow up the next Friday… well… I guess someone wasn’t impressed with my attempt at garnering us modest types some private time. All the tape had been ripped off. Look, guys, I get that it didn’t look very professional but seriously. Those bathrooms are indecent. I’m going to continue to carry my roll of duct tape when I fly through your airport.