Think You Might Overeat On A Cruise? Read This…

If by chance you do indulge
In things that make intestines bulge
Groan and moan and then explode
Pray DO NOT waddle from your small abode
To seek assistance of the chemical kind
At the shops or from medical minds
For your small space will soon become
A form of a miserable, depressing dungeon
As you are trapped by ship’s strict rules
For THREE DAYS’ past your last big poos
On you they check to make damn sure
In your cabin you remain quite pure
ALL THE TIME so you don’t “infect”
Other passengers with your passing hex
“But it’s not Noro!” I hear you cry
“I just ate a whole rhubarb pie!!”
Too bad, sailor, you must never admit
To the crew that you are having NASTY… uh… runs.
(Now if you’re really sick, that’s different
I’m talking about a quickie passing event)
If you leave your cabin at all, my dear
At the next port, your ass they toss, have no fear
And your own way home, alas, you must find
And this trip, too, is on your own dime.
So if you have a loo issue
Here is what you must do
Come prepared with proper meds
Dose yourself and off to bed
MAKE DAMN SURE YOU WASH YOUR MITTS
We don’t want your germs, you git!