Does the no. 6 bus go to the shelter? Inquired the cat.

Me: No. Why?

Cat: Damn. That means changing.

Me: You looking to rehome?

Cat, snorting: Me? After all the time I’ve spent training you? You gotta be kidding. No. I don’t want Granny driving that far.

Me, confused: You changed your mind? You want another companion? And why would Granny go?

Incredulous look from cat: How on earth did your species make it to the top of the food chain?

Me: Okay. So why the shelter visit?

Cat: Well, if you’re this stupid, you can just do the driving. It’ll be easier.

Me: Seriously, what’s going on?

Cat: I have a little package to deliver.

Me: Where’s Coco?

Cat, cheshire-ing a grin: …

Me: Oh, hell no. She’s our guest.

Cat: You always said after three dinners, they’re not a guest and they can get their own damn drinks.

Me: I said that about the kids’ friends, not about a hospitalized friend’s pet. And she’s just a little Maltipoo.

Cat, snorting again: Pet? PET? That… that thing is not a pet. It’s a feline-exterminating machine. You know while you two can openers were away, leaving Granny in charge for a night, that monster freaking chased me around the house? Her giant drooling jaws snapping at my hinter-regions? It was a good thing Granny left the door open, or I would’ve been done for.

Me: Coco is very sweet. She’s just… not… used to cats.

Cat: It’s a kill shelter, right?

Our one-night escape was awesome. We were in San Luis Obispo, on California’s central coast. We went kayaking (my favorite sport in which to participate… who doesn’t love exercising sitting down?) on a bay smooth as glass, aside from the kelp sticking out above the water.

And the sea otters! OMG, the sea otters. They’re freaking adorable. You’re supposed to keep five kayak lengths away… but they’re so cute. One person in our party got a little close, and they all suddenly up and flipped under water, moving as one. They lie in the kelp beds, grooming themselves.

There were other critters out there as well – sea lions, pelicans…

Since we didn’t want to have Granny (my mother) at home too long by herself with the dueling animals, we limited the time to less than a day, as driving requires more than three hours.