Sorry, remarked the dog. All outta free cuddles.

Me: what are you talking about? C’mere and cuddle me. Dog: Nope No free cuddles today Maybe tomorrow Me: Tom— what?! Dog: I… can… spell you one for two treaties Sound of paw hitting forehead comes from the direction of the sofa. Cat: SELL, ding dong, I can SELL you one for two treaties. Dog: … Continue reading Sorry, remarked the dog. All outta free cuddles.

Are you KIDDING me? moaned the dog.

We hosted another guide dog puppy in training for the night; her raisers had kindly had Miss M last weekend. When they had plans for Friday evening, we were happy to have their pup, a beautiful, petite black lab. They get along great, aside from Miss M’s… not jealousy exactly, more like wanting to be … Continue reading Are you KIDDING me? moaned the dog.

But… but… that’s MY bed, said the dog.

The cat didn’t bother looking up. Dog: MaeMae, you in my bed Cat: possession is 9/10ths of the law. Dog: what Cat, narrowing her eyes: you weren’t here all weekend. It’s mine now. Dog: MaeMae, that’s my bed Cat: … Dog: MaeMae, that’s MY bed Cat: … sorry, did you say something? Dog: MAEMAE THAT … Continue reading But… but… that’s MY bed, said the dog.

The cat smiled with evil intent and swatted the dog’s tail.

Dog, from the corner of her mouth: stop it MaeMae I’m working The cat popped her tail another one. “My goodness!” said the lady who had stopped to talk, “that cat seems very comfortable with that dog.” Dog; she’s a pain in the butt cat: not as bad as you! me ignoring animals: she is… … Continue reading The cat smiled with evil intent and swatted the dog’s tail.

I do not LIKE the Cone of Shame, said the dog, miserably.

It all started when Guide Dogs of America decided she would not be part of the breeder program. Cat: well, there’s a shocker. Me: don’t be meanies. Dog: I don’t understand Cat: Exactly. Dog: What? So last Tuesday, Miss M went under the knife. With great kindness, they asked we bring her to the facility … Continue reading I do not LIKE the Cone of Shame, said the dog, miserably.

Oh, my GOD, said the cat. You STINK!

Dog: what you mean Cat, recoiling: you smell horrendous. I mean, not that you don’t on an average day, but crap on a cracker, you are appalling. Dog: I got chased by water it was grubby Cat: Maaaan, I knew you were dim, but chased by WATER?! Maybe the walking can opener tried to shoot … Continue reading Oh, my GOD, said the cat. You STINK!

The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock.

Cat: what the f😳ck is THAT?!! Me:  what does it look like? Dog, pacing in her crate upstairs to the extent it will allow: I can’t see I can’t see Cat:  you did NOT.  Dog: What? WHAT The 11 week old golden retriever shifted a little in my arms, unaccustomed to this new place.  Our little visitor… … Continue reading The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock.

“What on earth is the matter with the dog?” my mother asked, concerned.

I leaned over her, a bit worried. I looked over at the dog, now flat on her belly with her paws over her nose. She wasn’t scratching at the Halti (the halter which covers the bridge of her nose and encourages good behavior - if she jumps or makes a hard turn, it pinches a … Continue reading “What on earth is the matter with the dog?” my mother asked, concerned.

The puppy is preparing for the wrong profession.

Yes, she’ll probably make a terrific service dog, but seriously, there’s something else to which she would be far more suited. My baby should be in pictures. This girl is more dramatic than Sarah Bernhardt. The performance she gave in front of the neighbor’s house while wearing her Halti was of Oscar caliber. She’s spent … Continue reading The puppy is preparing for the wrong profession.

My father haunts us by lowering the level crossing gates.

He used to get so frustrated as my aunt lives just beyond a busy rail line into London, and it seemed every time he wanted to drive across… dingdingding, red lights flashing and Daddy would curse like a sailor. “Bloody British Rail!” he’d roar as he skidded to a stop. So now, whenever we get … Continue reading My father haunts us by lowering the level crossing gates.