You did not say that to him! I stared down my son.

Given my recent post about the Peugeot and my dad’s less than fondness of the French, this came up for me.

We were on a trip to New York when the kids were young (2004, maybe? That’d put Blondie at 12 and the Boy at seven), and we hit up the Statue of Liberty.

With the four of us on Ellis Island, it got a little difficult sometimes having one young boy and the other three of us heading to the ladies’ room – so there was a fair amount of trust/hope that he’d stay out of trouble while he/we used the facilities (MEET BACK HERE!!).

I came out first, and found the Boy talking to a man dressed in period costume with a dreadful French accent.

Pseudo-French Dude: Eees thees yurrr sonne? Eeee eees ver’ intelligen’!

Me, eyeing the Boy with suspicion: Oh, yes?

PFD: Eye ahm Gustav Eiffel! Eye design-nah-d the eeen-ter-wah of zee bee-yoo-tee-fuhl statue! Eye also dee-sighnnn—d a leetle owww-ah, mabeee you ‘eard of eeet?

The Boy rolled his eyes and muttered something.

Me: whaddid you say?

PFD: Mah-daaam, eee eeees zooh briiiight! Eeee fig-ured mee out! Eee called me a FROUGH!

You have to understand, the Boy, at that point, had spent plenty of time with my dad. Bless the old coot, a twice-evacuated child of the Blitz, a veteran of British Intelligence, he passed in 2015, and made no secret of his… lack of enthusiasm of the French.

So when I hear “eee cahl-ed me a frough” from the pretend-Frenchman, oh my gawd.

Me, starting to screech, British accent to the fore: YOU CALLED HIM A WOT??

Boy, realizing what I was thinking: NO! I did not!

PFD: Mah-daaaaame! Eye deed not tayke off-hence. Eees true!

He smiled a small smile, lifted one eyebrow and whispered: Eyeh nooo yew will be shocked to heeear thees, but ah am… noht reeeeeally Fraaanch.

Me: ‘Scuse me?

Boy, outraged and thoroughly pissed off at this point: I called him a FRAUD, not a fr— mmmrph (as I smacked my hand over his gob).

Mercifully, Beloved and Blondie walked up at that point, and we hustled off to actually see the vaunted statue. I wonder if that gentleman ever realized I thought he’d been called a racial slur.