I jumped a foot and uttered a curse word. I mean, I wasnāt prepared for that kind of reaction outta that cute little rolypoly creature. Given he was tubby and nicely groomed (didnāt appear to have fleas), it was a bit of a shocker. It all started when I decided I wanted to visit āRobertās … Continue reading Fš³ck off! Screamed the prairie dog.
It all started when Guide Dogs of America decided she would not be part of the breeder program. Cat: well, thereās a shocker. Me: donāt be meanies. Dog: I donāt understand Cat: Exactly. Dog: What? So last Tuesday, Miss M went under the knife. With great kindness, they asked we bring her to the facility … Continue reading I do not LIKE the Cone of Shame, said the dog, miserably.
Dog: what you mean Cat, recoiling: you smell horrendous. I mean, not that you donāt on an average day, but crap on a cracker, you are appalling. Dog: I got chased by water it was grubby Cat: Maaaan, I knew you were dim, but chased by WATER?! Maybe the walking can opener tried to shoot … Continue reading Oh, my GOD, said the cat. You STINK!
Cat: what the fš³ck is THAT?!! Me: what does it look like? Dog, pacing in her crate upstairs to the extent it will allow: I canāt see I canāt see Cat: you did NOT. Dog: What? WHAT The 11 week old golden retriever shifted a little in my arms, unaccustomed to this new place. Our little visitorā¦ … Continue reading The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock.
I leaned over her, a bit worried. I looked over at the dog, now flat on her belly with her paws over her nose. She wasnāt scratching at the Halti (the halter which covers the bridge of her nose and encourages good behavior - if she jumps or makes a hard turn, it pinches a … Continue reading āWhat on earth is the matter with the dog?ā my mother asked, concerned.
Me: Puppy? Whatās wrong? Dog: I feel like hell. Weād noticed the dog was not her usual self on Sunday - she was flat out and kinda mopey. Iād thought it was because sheād had an awesome play date Saturday with another dog, but noā¦ Cat, as usual going from calm to hysterical in seconds: … Continue reading Can I have two aspirin? Moaned the dog, And a heating pad?
Blondie: What? Iām kind of working here. Why arenāt you on your way home? Me: We wereā¦ I mean, we are. Weāve loved spending the past few days with you and BB (Blondie's Beau), but I need to tell you what I sprung on him at the last minute. Blondie: Oh, god. Let me back … Continue reading I need to tell you something, I said.
No, itās not, I said. Yes it is, shouted the hound. We gotta get OUT of here!! Puppyā¦ weāre in church. Itās Easter. Thatās incense, not smoke, and while I agree itās smelly, nothingās going to hurt us. She was still uncomfortable with the idea so halfway through the first hymn we exited the building. … Continue reading Fire! Screamed the dog. The buildingās on fire!!
Thatās actually apropos of nothing, but my mother said thatās the kind of book that would grab my auntās attention and cause her to read it. She evidently likes intriguing starts. So Beloved wasnāt completely enthusiastic about my latest musical endeavor (I tend to make up songs, and what I lack in artistic ability I … Continue reading āHellā¦ā said the dog, as she climbed into bedā¦
I raise my head off the pillow and looked over at Beloved. āItās 38Ā° out there,ā I said, āI really donāt wanna go outside.ā āI donāt.ā she said. What? āI donāt go outside. I open the door and let her out.ā āExcuse me,ā I said āWhat do you mean? We have to take her out … Continue reading Iām hungry, whined the dog. And I gotta pee.
ExaminingMisadventures 