Me: No, dammit, leave it alone! The dog wants the bedroom door open. Not because she wants/needs access, but because she seems to like the security of knowing what’s going on. I, on the other hand, am trying to be fiscally responsible. This all started when Granny moved in. I am so, SO happy she … Continue reading It needs to be open! Insisted the dog.
It's called "I Love You (but You're a Pain in the Ass)". I sang it to the dog while I got ready for work. You'll never guess why. As Beloved and the Boy can attest, I make up little ditties and sing them ad nauseum until everyone starts throwing things at my head. Most fall … Continue reading I wrote a song this morning…
Perched on the throne, I said, “oh, GOD, more ants!” The dog went over to investigate, huffing out breath to get a better scent. I suddenly heard, in a very high voice, “What th’ f😳ck?!!” Ant: How the hell did I wind up here?? Dog: where you go Me: Stop blowing the damn insects around. … Continue reading Something Moved! Barked the dog.
Not that I had a choice, mind you – I wore my sneakers early in the morning, when the grass (which grows about two inches overnight) wept so badly as I trod through, my socks got soaked as well. Dammit. It could’ve been God’s retribution for my sins, which to my mind weren’t so bad, … Continue reading Never wear sandals to the dump.
My mother should be locked up. Granny to all who aren’t born within 20 or years of her, she’s tiny - 4’10” and skinny as all hell (yes, I know her weight but I’m not stupid, y’know…) so when she drinks, bless her, well… she’s a cheap date. Which is not to say she’s got … Continue reading I Can’t Take Them Anywhere…
Examining Misadventures 