The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock.

Cat: what the f😳ck is THAT?!! Me:  what does it look like? Dog, pacing in her crate upstairs to the extent it will allow: I can’t see I can’t see Cat:  you did NOT.  Dog: What? WHAT The 11 week old golden retriever shifted a little in my arms, unaccustomed to this new place.  Our little visitor… … Continue reading The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock.

“What on earth is the matter with the dog?” my mother asked, concerned.

I leaned over her, a bit worried. I looked over at the dog, now flat on her belly with her paws over her nose. She wasn’t scratching at the Halti (the halter which covers the bridge of her nose and encourages good behavior - if she jumps or makes a hard turn, it pinches a … Continue reading “What on earth is the matter with the dog?” my mother asked, concerned.

The puppy is preparing for the wrong profession.

Yes, she’ll probably make a terrific service dog, but seriously, there’s something else to which she would be far more suited. My baby should be in pictures. This girl is more dramatic than Sarah Bernhardt. The performance she gave in front of the neighbor’s house while wearing her Halti was of Oscar caliber. She’s spent … Continue reading The puppy is preparing for the wrong profession.

Can I have two aspirin? Moaned the dog, And a heating pad?

Me: Puppy? What’s wrong? Dog: I feel like hell. We’d noticed the dog was not her usual self on Sunday - she was flat out and kinda mopey. I’d thought it was because she’d had an awesome play date Saturday with another dog, but no… Cat, as usual going from calm to hysterical in seconds: … Continue reading Can I have two aspirin? Moaned the dog, And a heating pad?

Fire! Screamed the dog. The building’s on fire!!

No, it’s not, I said. Yes it is, shouted the hound. We gotta get OUT of here!! Puppy… we’re in church. It’s Easter. That’s incense, not smoke, and while I agree it’s smelly, nothing’s going to hurt us. She was still uncomfortable with the idea so halfway through the first hymn we exited the building. … Continue reading Fire! Screamed the dog. The building’s on fire!!

“Hell…” said the dog, as she climbed into bed…

That’s actually apropos of nothing, but my mother said that’s the kind of book that would grab my aunt’s attention and cause her to read it. She evidently likes intriguing starts. So Beloved wasn’t completely enthusiastic about my latest musical endeavor (I tend to make up songs, and what I lack in artistic ability I … Continue reading “Hell…” said the dog, as she climbed into bed…

But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused.

The cat snorted. Future tense? I sighed. I did not say you’re going to be DAFT, I said. You’re going in the bath. Cat, rolling her eyes: How can you become something you already are? Dog (confused by cat): but… but.. I’m not IN the bath Cat: Case in point. Me: Knock it off. Puppy, … Continue reading But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused.

I am a federal official, I said, and I can neither offer nor solicit bribes.

The dog scowled at me from the stairs.  Having struggled against getting her vest on, she was now waiting for me to get her to the door so that we could go for a morning walk. I, however, was not about to say the magic word: “Come!” which results in a three treat bingo.  Because … Continue reading I am a federal official, I said, and I can neither offer nor solicit bribes.