It all started when Beloved, the puppy and I agreed to help out at a funeral attended by 300 people, including an honor guard, for a female officer. It was held at our church as the officer’s home church was too small for that number of people. Beloved served on the altar, and I was … Continue reading The puppy flung herself into the surprised officer’s arms.
It all started when Guide Dogs of America decided she would not be part of the breeder program. Cat: well, there’s a shocker. Me: don’t be meanies. Dog: I don’t understand Cat: Exactly. Dog: What? So last Tuesday, Miss M went under the knife. With great kindness, they asked we bring her to the facility … Continue reading I do not LIKE the Cone of Shame, said the dog, miserably.
Dog: what you mean Cat, recoiling: you smell horrendous. I mean, not that you don’t on an average day, but crap on a cracker, you are appalling. Dog: I got chased by water it was grubby Cat: Maaaan, I knew you were dim, but chased by WATER?! Maybe the walking can opener tried to shoot … Continue reading Oh, my GOD, said the cat. You STINK!
Cat: what the f😳ck is THAT?!! Me: what does it look like? Dog, pacing in her crate upstairs to the extent it will allow: I can’t see I can’t see Cat: you did NOT. Dog: What? WHAT The 11 week old golden retriever shifted a little in my arms, unaccustomed to this new place. Our little visitor… … Continue reading The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock.
I leaned over her, a bit worried. I looked over at the dog, now flat on her belly with her paws over her nose. She wasn’t scratching at the Halti (the halter which covers the bridge of her nose and encourages good behavior - if she jumps or makes a hard turn, it pinches a … Continue reading “What on earth is the matter with the dog?” my mother asked, concerned.
Yes, she’ll probably make a terrific service dog, but seriously, there’s something else to which she would be far more suited. My baby should be in pictures. This girl is more dramatic than Sarah Bernhardt. The performance she gave in front of the neighbor’s house while wearing her Halti was of Oscar caliber. She’s spent … Continue reading The puppy is preparing for the wrong profession.
Me: Puppy? What’s wrong? Dog: I feel like hell. We’d noticed the dog was not her usual self on Sunday - she was flat out and kinda mopey. I’d thought it was because she’d had an awesome play date Saturday with another dog, but no… Cat, as usual going from calm to hysterical in seconds: … Continue reading Can I have two aspirin? Moaned the dog, And a heating pad?
No, it’s not, I said. Yes it is, shouted the hound. We gotta get OUT of here!! Puppy… we’re in church. It’s Easter. That’s incense, not smoke, and while I agree it’s smelly, nothing’s going to hurt us. She was still uncomfortable with the idea so halfway through the first hymn we exited the building. … Continue reading Fire! Screamed the dog. The building’s on fire!!
Cat: A medium what? Dog: you know… a medium Cat: no, you are NOT a medium. You’re so not psychic, you sometimes don’t seem to know when you need to pee until it’s an emergency. Dog: no you don’t understand I got a medium Me: She’s wearing a medium guide dog puppy vest. Cat: Sheeeeeeet … Continue reading Dog: I am a medium!
That’s actually apropos of nothing, but my mother said that’s the kind of book that would grab my aunt’s attention and cause her to read it. She evidently likes intriguing starts. So Beloved wasn’t completely enthusiastic about my latest musical endeavor (I tend to make up songs, and what I lack in artistic ability I … Continue reading “Hell…” said the dog, as she climbed into bed…
Examining Misadventures 