Me: Puppy? What’s wrong? Dog: I feel like hell. We’d noticed the dog was not her usual self on Sunday - she was flat out and kinda mopey. I’d thought it was because she’d had an awesome play date Saturday with another dog, but no… Cat, as usual going from calm to hysterical in seconds: … Continue reading Can I have two aspirin? Moaned the dog, And a heating pad?
Unfortunately, she did this just as I rounded the corner and catapulted away from me as we collided. Skidding, she regained her balance, shot under the table, grabbed something in her mouth and galloped to her bed in the corner. What the hell? So when I give her a “peanut butter ball-y” (a Kong filled … Continue reading The dog sprinted out of the kitchen like a marine under fire: furtive, low to the ground and moving at high speed.
Blondie: What? I’m kind of working here. Why aren’t you on your way home? Me: We were… I mean, we are. We’ve loved spending the past few days with you and BB (Blondie's Beau), but I need to tell you what I sprung on him at the last minute. Blondie: Oh, god. Let me back … Continue reading I need to tell you something, I said.
MOUNTAINS of bison poo. Beloved took this photo. We’re at Yellowstone, Beloved and I. Miss M is having a vacation - splitting her three weeks between spa time at the GDA facility and another puppy raiser, who is graciously having her to stay. It’s a good thing too, because I wouldn’t want to have an … Continue reading Bison are beautiful, majestic animals but by gum, they crap like nothing I’ve ever seen.
No, it’s not, I said. Yes it is, shouted the hound. We gotta get OUT of here!! Puppy… we’re in church. It’s Easter. That’s incense, not smoke, and while I agree it’s smelly, nothing’s going to hurt us. She was still uncomfortable with the idea so halfway through the first hymn we exited the building. … Continue reading Fire! Screamed the dog. The building’s on fire!!
Miss M had done another one of her overnights away from us - this time with the amazing puppy raiser who is going to keep her while we’re away on vacation. This woman and her mom are saints. Our beloved guide dog puppy is... challenging at the best of times. Miss M with another dog at … Continue reading The dog was beside herself with happiness.
Cat: A medium what? Dog: you know… a medium Cat: no, you are NOT a medium. You’re so not psychic, you sometimes don’t seem to know when you need to pee until it’s an emergency. Dog: no you don’t understand I got a medium Me: She’s wearing a medium guide dog puppy vest. Cat: Sheeeeeeet … Continue reading Dog: I am a medium!
That’s actually apropos of nothing, but my mother said that’s the kind of book that would grab my aunt’s attention and cause her to read it. She evidently likes intriguing starts. So Beloved wasn’t completely enthusiastic about my latest musical endeavor (I tend to make up songs, and what I lack in artistic ability I … Continue reading “Hell…” said the dog, as she climbed into bed…
Well, I don’t know what it means to you, but to me, it’s late night bargain hunting. Type in $5 clearance to Walmart’s app and see what you find. Among the peanut butter flavored ferret treats (for real!) and the letter U wedding-cake topper there’s some eye popping lingerie for all kinds of interests. Holy … Continue reading The Dark Side of the Web
The cat snorted. Future tense? I sighed. I did not say you’re going to be DAFT, I said. You’re going in the bath. Cat, rolling her eyes: How can you become something you already are? Dog (confused by cat): but… but.. I’m not IN the bath Cat: Case in point. Me: Knock it off. Puppy, … Continue reading But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused.
Examining Misadventures 