Wisconsin in April…

I’m spending two weeks here in Wisconsin again.  Same hotel, same hotel ROOM as two weeks ago.

I went to the grocery in my little soda can with four wheels when I got here Monday (really, Hertz?  I’m supposed to be President’s Gold Unicorn Fart Club, where’s my Masarati?  Or at least a Ford Fusion, for Chrissake?  Or SOMETHING with a beepy lock?  This Mattel car is unlocked using a key…my car in high school was unlocked using a key.)

So after getting up at 2:15am to make it to LAX for a 5am flight, I was sleepwalking back to the car, and couldn’t make the key work in the car door.  Scared the bejesus outta the teenage girl sitting in it.  Thank god it was middle aged white female ME attempting to break in to some stranger’s car with a young girl inside and not, say, my son, the 22 year old black man, almost 6′ and 220 pounds.  THAT would’ve been fun for him to explain.  Whoopsie.

Tuesday morning I headed in to work.  It was snowing.  Hello??  April?  Not only that, the damn stuff was sticking.  Okay, not for long, but seriously?  Bing Crosby singing “I’m Dreaming of a White Easter”?

Now it’s 40 degrees and misty.  BLECH.  As I emerged this morning from the dark recesses of the memory foam mattress (which is remembering a 400 pounder shaped like a teapot) I decided I’d had it with not being able to sleep on my tum.

Much huffing and puffing later, I now understand why the hotel doesn’t rotate the mattresses.  One was exhausting.  Multiply that by 70-odd rooms and you’d be dead.  Of course, if you spread it out over time, you’d be quite fit.

On the positive side, it’s like I have a new mattress, lovely and firm, fine if you don’t wander to the other side of the bed, closer to the wall.  The unsuspecting will fall into the chasm, but that’s not my worry.


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