Slack-jawed, I stared at her. “You want another dog?!”
Cat, impatiently: No. But it’s… a little empty around here. Something else… to… liven the place up a bit.
Me: Okay, you know the group leader was petitioning us to take a puppy asap, right?
Cat: A puppy… is not… challenging enough. I need to be challenged.
Me: YOU need to be challenged? You need an anti-psychotic, is what you need. I, on the other hand, need a break from puppy responsibilities 24/7.
Cat: Hrrumph. So… I was thinking… a hamster.
Cat: Or, more accurately, three. Two females and a male. That should keep me well enough supplied… I mean, us appropriately challenged.
Me: Th’ HELL!
Cat: Why not? They’re reasonably clean. Change the bedding every so often and they’re amusing little creatures.
Me: Y’know, I’ve always wanted a rabbit. Cute little floppy eared bunny.
MaeMae’s feline eyes gleamed. “More of a challenge, perhaps, but I think I… we… could handle it. Again, we would need three… a male and two females.”
Me: Not a problem, I got a raise this year. We build a pen out back and I bet Beloved would be into it.
Cat: I think… indoor might be better. Those little bun-buns get chilly-willy in the wind.
Me: I don’t know… they’re gonna need a lot of room…
Cat: Three widdle wabbits?
Me: I’ve always wanted one of these…
Cat: WHAT THE F😳CK IS THAT?!!
Me: It’s a Flemish Giant. Big, beautiful bunnies. And it might get a bit pricey, but I think we could afford three…
Cat: THAT THING WOULD CRAP BALLS THE SIZE OF MY HEAD!
Me: Mmmmm… your paws, maybe. Not so much your head. And it makes cleanup easy as they poop pellets… but they can be litter box trained.
Cat, shrieking: MY LITTERBOX?!!
Me: yeah, but that gate with the hole in it protecting the box from puppies… I think that wouldn’t work any more because those rabbits would have a good ten pounds on the pups when they arrive. They wouldn’t be able to get in there.
MaeMae, with a shell shocked look, stared in fury.
Me: Or, actually, they could… those back feet can kick the sh😉t outta just about anything, can you imagine the power they have? Only a full grown male kangaroo would be able to take out one them bunnie-boos. That cheapo kiddie-gate from Walmart would collapse like… like…
Beloved, helpfully: A small cat being pounded by an enormous Thumper in the midst of ‘roid rage?
Me, happily: but it doesn’t HAVE to be a rabbit… there are other rodents we could consider…
Cat: No. More. Animals.
Me: Are you sure…?