Sorry, remarked the dog. All outta free cuddles.

Me: what are you talking about? C’mere and cuddle me. Dog: Nope No free cuddles today Maybe tomorrow Me: Tom— what?! Dog: I… can… spell you one for two treaties Sound of paw hitting forehead comes from the direction of the sofa. Cat: SELL, ding dong, I can SELL you one for two treaties. Dog: … Continue reading Sorry, remarked the dog. All outta free cuddles.

Are you KIDDING me? moaned the dog.

We hosted another guide dog puppy in training for the night; her raisers had kindly had Miss M last weekend. When they had plans for Friday evening, we were happy to have their pup, a beautiful, petite black lab. They get along great, aside from Miss M’s… not jealousy exactly, more like wanting to be … Continue reading Are you KIDDING me? moaned the dog.

But… but… that’s MY bed, said the dog.

The cat didn’t bother looking up. Dog: MaeMae, you in my bed Cat: possession is 9/10ths of the law. Dog: what Cat, narrowing her eyes: you weren’t here all weekend. It’s mine now. Dog: MaeMae, that’s my bed Cat: … Dog: MaeMae, that’s MY bed Cat: … sorry, did you say something? Dog: MAEMAE THAT … Continue reading But… but… that’s MY bed, said the dog.

I do not LIKE the Cone of Shame, said the dog, miserably.

It all started when Guide Dogs of America decided she would not be part of the breeder program. Cat: well, there’s a shocker. Me: don’t be meanies. Dog: I don’t understand Cat: Exactly. Dog: What? So last Tuesday, Miss M went under the knife. With great kindness, they asked we bring her to the facility … Continue reading I do not LIKE the Cone of Shame, said the dog, miserably.

Oh, my GOD, said the cat. You STINK!

Dog: what you mean Cat, recoiling: you smell horrendous. I mean, not that you don’t on an average day, but crap on a cracker, you are appalling. Dog: I got chased by water it was grubby Cat: Maaaan, I knew you were dim, but chased by WATER?! Maybe the walking can opener tried to shoot … Continue reading Oh, my GOD, said the cat. You STINK!

The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock.

Cat: what the f😳ck is THAT?!! Me:  what does it look like? Dog, pacing in her crate upstairs to the extent it will allow: I can’t see I can’t see Cat:  you did NOT.  Dog: What? WHAT The 11 week old golden retriever shifted a little in my arms, unaccustomed to this new place.  Our little visitor… … Continue reading The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock.

Can I have two aspirin? Moaned the dog, And a heating pad?

Me: Puppy? What’s wrong? Dog: I feel like hell. We’d noticed the dog was not her usual self on Sunday - she was flat out and kinda mopey. I’d thought it was because she’d had an awesome play date Saturday with another dog, but no… Cat, as usual going from calm to hysterical in seconds: … Continue reading Can I have two aspirin? Moaned the dog, And a heating pad?

The dog sprinted out of the kitchen like a marine under fire: furtive, low to the ground and moving at high speed.

Unfortunately, she did this just as I rounded the corner and catapulted away from me as we collided. Skidding, she regained her balance, shot under the table, grabbed something in her mouth and galloped to her bed in the corner. What the hell? So when I give her a “peanut butter ball-y” (a Kong filled … Continue reading The dog sprinted out of the kitchen like a marine under fire: furtive, low to the ground and moving at high speed.

I did not do it said the dog, looking worried.

Didn’t do what? I said. Cat: she’s worried you think she did it. Me: what is this supposed transgression? Cat: I don’t actually know. Dog: not me not me Cat, looking outside the window: holy crap! The cat looks shaken. I’m puzzled, but I’m still getting dressed. This body is not one that will be … Continue reading I did not do it said the dog, looking worried.