The dog sprinted out of the kitchen like a marine under fire: furtive, low to the ground and moving at high speed.

Unfortunately, she did this just as I rounded the corner and catapulted away from me as we collided. Skidding, she regained her balance, shot under the table, grabbed something in her mouth and galloped to her bed in the corner. What the hell? So when I give her a “peanut butter ball-y” (a Kong filled … Continue reading The dog sprinted out of the kitchen like a marine under fire: furtive, low to the ground and moving at high speed.

I did not do it said the dog, looking worried.

Didn’t do what? I said. Cat: she’s worried you think she did it. Me: what is this supposed transgression? Cat: I don’t actually know. Dog: not me not me Cat, looking outside the window: holy crap! The cat looks shaken. I’m puzzled, but I’m still getting dressed. This body is not one that will be … Continue reading I did not do it said the dog, looking worried.

But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused.

The cat snorted. Future tense? I sighed. I did not say you’re going to be DAFT, I said. You’re going in the bath. Cat, rolling her eyes: How can you become something you already are? Dog (confused by cat): but… but.. I’m not IN the bath Cat: Case in point. Me: Knock it off. Puppy, … Continue reading But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused.

The puppy was convinced I was dead.

The entire country’s domesticated animal population didn’t consider me a corpse, but they thought as much of their respective owners. Time change is a bitch. However, if she gets exhausted and wants to nap earlier… heck, I’m down with that. One of the evil, super-slippery knee-busters. She also keeps growing. It’s getting harder to hold … Continue reading The puppy was convinced I was dead.