Puppy: Muffin
Me, prying her jaws apart: You have something in there.
Puppy: Muffin I got muffin
Cat: I believe she’s trying to say “nothing” while you have your hand fully down her throat.
Me: You were chewing on something…
I sighed, let the pup go, then spied something that looked like a sliver of black plastic on the floor. Oh, HELL.
I again went spelunking in her gob… nothing.
I picked up the sliver and to my horror, it started crawling up my hand.
AAAAAAAAH it’s an earwig!
I screamed but closed my fist and sprinted for the sink.
Puppy: where you go
Me: Ew ew ew EW EW EWEWEWEWEWEWEW!!
Cat: why didn’t you eat it?
Earwig: Excuse me, I am COVERED in dog slobb… aaaaaaaahhhhh…
I sent the little bastard down the waste disposal. Yuk, I HATE those things.
I haven’t kept up with the animals’ adventures because, well, work and exhaustion. I mean, I haven’t kept up with putting them down on paper – keeping up with this pup is a full time job split mostly to Beloved with a side helping o’ me and a bit o’ Granny.
Miss R is now 11 weeks old and FULL of beans. Sorry, I wrote this a while back and neglected to post it.
MaeMae: tell me about it. That dog farts and poops like I’ve never seen.
Miss R: I no help it
Me: You’re fine, puppy. You didn’t feel so good last night.
We’re up a lot at night. She seems to need to go out three times a night and she doesn’t always do everything she needs to do, which can mean multiple trips in short order.
This does not go over well with us. I mean, we get it, Beloved and I… she’s a baby and she’s figuring things out.
That, however, is small comfort at one am when Beloved comes back in after taking her out to piddle and she issues ear-splitting shrieks upon returning to her crate.
Does she need to poop or is she bored/lonely/grumpy/whatever?
Unnngh. We take turns so off I go next to see if she’s needing to go again.
She produces an unnatural amount of manure and heads back to bed.
Only to start screaming. AGAIN.
Please, puppy. Please.
SHRIEK I’m a desperate pup!!
Me: stop. You pooped, you peed, we’re done. Night, NIGHT.
SHRIEK
Beloved, groaning: maybe she needs to pee again.
Me: maybe she wants to be outta her crate running around.
SHRRRRIIIIIIIEEEEEEKKKKK
Beloved: I dunno, she sounds like she’s really in need.
Cat: can you not SHUT THAT ANIMAL UP?! kee-hrist, she’s SO f😳cking LOUD!!
Me: she’s a total drama queen.
Beloved: I’m taking her out again.
I groan. This sounds selfish, but if she takes her out now, I’m up first at the next round. If the pup just needs to widdle at the next wake up, Beloved and the dog immediately fall asleep again. I, on the other hand, am up for a few hours after taking her out.
Beloved: C’mon, puppy.
Me, muttering: You damn better need to wee.
Puppy: HOORAY I’M FREEEEEEEEEEE…
Five minutes later, el perro is back, merrily hopping in her crate.
I cut Beloved side eye. Aaaaaaand…?
She shook her head.
We have a puppy sitter Saturday night… I cannot wait…
Examining Misadventures 