“She’s licking it,” said the cat.

Me: what?

Cat: I thought she was supposed to chew dental sticks. That ding dong thinks it’s a popsicle.

Me: no, she’s not.

I glance at the dog, who appears fascinated with the living room carpet.

Me: oi! Doggo! Don’t lick the carpet!

(Snurfling, snorting sounds from the side of the sofa…)

Licking rapidly turned to chewing.

Dog: that was delish you got any more I have dirty teeth

Me: nope that’s it.

Dog: you opened the package where’d the package go I can lick the wrapper

Me: excuse me! That’s “please may like lick the wrapper”!

Dog: pleasemayilickywrapper

Me: no.

The cat smirked. The dog, crestfallen, decided to do reconnaissance.

Me: hey! NO COUNTER SURFING!

Dog: so… when my paws change and I get fingers

Me: what? Cat: Fingers?!

Dog: when I get fingers These paw things kinda useless

The cat groaned.

Me: um… sweetie, you got what you get. You have paws. They’re getting bigger, but structurally they won’t change. 

Dog, puzzled: that no make sense

Cat: you think you’re getting HANDS?! Like human hands?

Dog: why I no get hands I should get hands

Cat: you’re. A… dog…

Dog: I a puppy

Cat: indeed. So… why… does your… furry… minuscule… brain think you’ll get hands?

Me: MaeMae…

Cat: legit question. 

Dog, frowning: because I a puppy

Me: ooookay…

Puppy: when I grow up I be like you

MaeMae spat out something. I prefer to be ignorant as to specifics.

Me: what? MaeMae: you’re a DOG. 

Me: honey, you’re… a dog. A very important dog, because you’re already training to take care of someone who needs you. 

Dog: oooooookay

Me: so you won’t change into anything else. You’re who you are now. 

Dog, puzzled: you mean I no get those weird paw-pendages

Me: what?

Dog: those things that stick out of your paws very useful

Me: thumbs?

Puppy: I need those

MaeMae: me first! Think of all I could do…

Me: I prefer not to. 

MaeMae: I’d rule the household! Heck… why think small! WORLD DOMINATION!

Me: I’m sorry, what was that again about minuscule furry brains?

Back to the counter surfing. Making it more problematic, she seems to be entering another growth spurt.

She rather resembles an AT-AT Transport in Star Wars. (Don’t be too impressed, I had to look up what they’re called.)