Me: no you’re not. You’re fine now.
Puppy: yes I am see watch
She crouched on the lawn, pitifully struggling, whining a bit.
Me: you pooped an hour ago, I’m not surprised nothing’s coming out.
MaeMae the cat, rolling her eyes: if you’d learn to catch your own food, ding dong, you wouldn’t have to stoop to the theatrics.
The puppy, a beautiful black year old lab girl who’s staying with us for a month, looked concerned.
Puppy: I no understand I can catch food toss it to me I grab it in the air I very talented.
MaeMae groaned. I heard something about cerebral tentacles as opposed to brains.
Me: I agree you needed a generous spoonful of canned pumpkin because you were constipated, but you’re fine now.
Pup: nope still not right very not poopy see
And with a moan, she arched her back and strained.
Me: still not getting pumpkin.
Puppy: aw, shucks
MaeMae: there’s a better word, except it’s not appearing. and not due to a dearth of squash.
Puppy: huh
Me: knock it off, MaeMae.
We went grocery shopping with Granny this morning. This dog is amazeballs, she walks on a loose leash like a pro. She’s gonna make an exceptional guide dog.
For anyone who might not know, we volunteer with Guide Dogs of America, and are now puppy sitters. We’ve raised two puppies but are on hiatus because it’s too hard on Granny, who lives with us. However, puppy sitting for short periods is okay and at Christmas, a lot of people need sitters.
We agreed to take a pup from Christmas Day until the 30th. Nice and short.
Then, could we possibly sit another the week before?
Uhhh… sure.
That’s when the horse trading started between the raisers who needed help. 🤣
We blinked and suddenly we have a puppy for two weeks. Sure, what the heck.
This beautiful girl arrived and due to unexpected circumstances, “is it okay for you to keep her for a month?”
Uhhh… sure. I… guess…?
We had her for six hours and decided we didn’t want to give her back. A month? Nah, we’ll keep her for 15 years.
Our prior pups have been rambunctious, mouthy teenagers for the most part, unintentionally scaring Granny by jumping at her.
The thing with this girl is, she’s the ultimate guide dog. Whip smart, wants to please, understands immediately when told not to do something, gentle as all get out and wanders around the garden with Granny.
Walks on a leash like a pro.
Our only issue…
Sadly, their initial meeting didn’t go well. The pup didn’t understand when the cat ran, she wasn’t playing.
Also, this girl is a champion jumper. She cleared the barrier with ease and was up on the bank.
MaeMae: what the f🤬ck do you think you’re doing?
Puppy:… (on nasal overload)
MaeMae, screeching: MY AREA!! Get out GET OUT GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT
The dog panicked a little and attempted to reverse course, then got confused as to the exit. With one almighty leap she was off the brick wall and onto the patio again.
MaeMae shaking her paw at the rapidly retreating pup: AND STAY OUT!!!
Puppy: she no like me
Me: she doesn’t like anyone. She’s a bitch.
Puppy, jaw dropping: THAT THING IS A dog
Me: oops, no, that’s not what I meant. Noooo, she’s not a dog.
Puppy: but but you just said
Me:…
Puppy: I’m a bitch too I had my first hots
MaeMae: damn right you are. But I am not.
The cat brought herself up to her full, majestic height.
MaeMae, dramatically: I… am…
The puppy squealed.
Pup: oh my gosh it’s a SQUIRREL
I damn near needed fresh panties.
Examining Misadventures 