Do you like baseball? Asked the puppy, eagerly.

Cats & Dogs & Other Critters, MaeMae, Uncategorized 2 Minutes

Our latest visitor, a female yellow lab, nine months old, lives in a house with a mom who is… well, a hardcore Dodger fan.

Our latest guest.

Puppy: I LOVE baseball its the bestest it’s so awesome and we watch on TV all the time I mean all the time I love to play it too except I have to kinda pretend because I’m not allowed a ball like that but I can run the bases like anything mom said one day she’ll take me to a real live game at the stadium can you believe it I’d breathe the same AIR as Mookie Betts he’s just dreamy I’d do close with him any day

MaeMae the cat: (speechless)

Puppy, tilting head: you look kinda like the mascot for a minor league team they’re from Richmond although the colors are wrong you’re not red and you don’t have a cape but hey whatever at least it’s a…

MaeMae: Why?! Why do these freaking dogs think I’m a damn squirrel?

Me: Y’know, puppy, don’t you think she looks more like the Diamondbacks’ mascot? Or maybe Tampa Bay?

I invite you to do your own comparison:

MaeMae sporting her usual resting bitch face. She looks perpetually annoyed.

So you can see the puppy’s perspective on what the cat resembles, here’s the DBacks’ and the Rays’ mascots:

D. Baxter de Bobcat and DJ Cat… Baxter looks like a feline Louis Armstrong after a bad overdose of steroids and DJ is a grotesquely outsize cat head with ball cap on top of someone wearing a Rays’ outfit with, inexplicably, a giant padlock and chain around his neck.

Then we have the Richmond Flying Squirrels’ contenders:

Nutsy and Nutasha – Nutsy is supposed to be a flying squirrel? More like Flash Gordon did the nasty with the descendant of Mickey Mouse and a bulldog. Nutasha panders to little girls dragged to the ballpark – giant eyes with lashes, a pink bow and in dire need of an orthodontist.

Me: I think she’s most like the Tampa team’s cat, right?

Puppy, considering: Mmmmm…. Maaaaaaaybe but… no. Definitely Nutasha.

MaeMae: get that miserable half witted fleaba…

Me: MAEMAE! Not okay!

Puppy: ohmygosh did you see Kershaw’s strikeout the other night that was so awesome he just nailed it I always want to lick the faces of the guys who strike out but it was just so exciting to watch that pitching and

MaeMae: Excuse me. I have urgent business elsewhere.

She stomps out of the room and we hear the familiar sound that strikes terror in the hearts of cat owners world wide: hyyyy-yuck, hyyyyy-yuck. HYYYYYY-YUK.

Me: MaeMae! On the tile, not the carpet!

Yakking noises from the bedroom.

The carpeted bedroom.

Dammit.

The cat re-emerged, out of range of the pup, sat and delicately dabbed her lips.

Me, scowling: Seriously?

MaeMae: Relax. Your precious carpet is unscathed.

Me, suspicious: Good…

MaeMae: Real shame about your pillow.

Puppy watching the game.
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Published by examiningmisadventures

I’m a 50-something former road warrior who traveled full time for work and attempts (at times, unsuccessfully) to stay out of trouble. Sadly, a penchant for nosiness, combined with curiousity and an acute sense of the absurd frequently leads me into ridiculous situations. I love nothing better than a howling good laugh, especially when it’s at my expense. My family always comes first, but my desire to explore and wiggle into weird situations hits a close second.

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