Me: Oi! What’re you doing? R___ had her snout in the volunteer tomato bush in the back yard. Actually not just her snooty, her whole head. I planted tomatoes last year and had a pretty decent crop, but dammit, nothing sprouted where they were planted before (sounds like I erred in dumping bags of potting … Continue reading “Om nom nom” said the dog.
Puppy: It’s Pride Sunday Me: Yep, it is! Puppy: And I am PROUD MaeMae the cat, raising one eyebrow: Proud like an… ally…? Puppy: Whut you talking about there’s a lot of us PUPs Proud Union Puppies There’s me and and P____ and and I forget her name I think it’s a girly dog we’re … Continue reading The dog beamed with pride…
Me: She didn’t. She went to see her niece graduate from vet school. She’s going to be a puppy doctor and we’re very proud of her. Dog: Mommy’s gonna be a puppy doctor MaeMae (cat): no, ding dong. Her niece is a veterinarian. When would the stay at home can opener have time for vet … Continue reading Why she abandon me moaned the dog.
Me: But then where does R___ sleep when she gets home? The puppy needs a crate. MaeMae (cat): I’m sorry… get… home? Me: C’mon, you know she’s coming back. She’ll be with us until February, when she goes to college. MaeMae: Why the hell would you take her back? Me: Excuse me? She’s in heat, … Continue reading You know, remarked the cat, if you get rid of those crates you’ll have more room in the house.
Me: Get back here, you miserable object! The dog attempted to giggle with a mouthful of rocks. UNNGH, the last time we got caught in this predicament that blasted canine busted out a baby tooth by chewing on the granite. Me, attempting to be calm: Drop. It. She gazed up at me, faked left and … Continue reading “CANNN CATH ME!!” Lisped the dog as she shot past me.
Me: I know, right? I love the puppy but right now, this respite care is such a blessing. Cat: beg pardon? It sounded like you said respite care. I think you meant to say “no more dogs ever”. Me, snorting: you wish. Not sure how long she’ll be with the puppy sitter but until we … Continue reading “Thank god” said the cat, “peace and quiet again.”
Me: MaeMae! What have you got? The cat didn’t shift her gaze from the flower pot. Me: MaeMae! Struggling with the puppy, I tried to see what the cat had cornered. Miss R, the guide dog puppy in training, strained to get to the cat. Me: MaeMae! What are you doing? Cat, not breaking her … Continue reading “You’re mine now…” said the cat with an evil gleam.
MaeMae: oh sh🤬t, WHERE?! Visiting five month old puppy, Miss A: oh my gosh!! A TALKING Chihuahua! Miss A MaeMae, looking around: what? ME?! I’m a cat, you dingdong! Miss A: Are you KIDDING me? A Chihuahua ca… MaeMae: don’t. You. Dare. MaeMae, glaring at me: for Pete’s sake, can’t you find dogs that have … Continue reading “Oh my GOSH!” Shouted the visitor. “A Chihuahua!”
Go, you big fierce cousin of the lions. Go annihilate that vile gopher. And all his relatives. Chase them so they never darken our street again.
