Perched on the throne, I said, “oh, GOD, more ants!” The dog went over to investigate, huffing out breath to get a better scent. I suddenly heard, in a very high voice, “What th’ f😳ck?!!” Ant: How the hell did I wind up here?? Dog: where you go Me: Stop blowing the damn insects around. … Continue reading Something Moved! Barked the dog.
Puppy: It’s Pride Sunday Me: Yep, it is! Puppy: And I am PROUD MaeMae the cat, raising one eyebrow: Proud like an… ally…? Puppy: Whut you talking about there’s a lot of us PUPs Proud Union Puppies There’s me and and P____ and and I forget her name I think it’s a girly dog we’re … Continue reading The dog beamed with pride…
(This occurred Sept 5, 2016… it showed up in my facebook memory feed. I would totally be willing to stay up all night with a dog with intestinal distress if it meant seeing Abby again…) That damn dog climbed on the dining table last night and ate the icing off half of Beloved’s birthday cake … Continue reading “Oh my god…” said the dog. “I shouldn’t have eaten that…”
Cat: you and who else? Treble, the dog we're sitting, blinked. Dog: you of course your head nearly touched mine Cat: Because I was watching to make sure you didn't attack. Dog: We met in the middle of the bed your sweet lizard breath on mine Cat: Gross! You realize you heave carbon dioxide more … Continue reading “I can’t believe it’s almost over…”sighed the dog, “we had a beautiful night together…”
Beloved jumped out of bed. Crap! Is that MaeMae? Me: chance’d be a fine thing. Beloved: Shut up, honey, you know you love that cat. I snorted. Like I love going to the dentist. The cat streaked along the fence, screaming “INCOMING!!” Flinging herself into the house, panting, el feline was shaken up. Cat: F😳ccccck! … Continue reading GET OFF, DAMMIT! Screeched the cat…
The 17 week... excuse me, 18 week old pup is still with us. Due to unforeseen circumstances, he's probably got another week or so before he goes home. Dog: Hooray! Puppy: A dog who plays with me? I'm so in! But I wanna get back home, too... Cat: Excuse me, WHAT? The favorite game involves … Continue reading Hey! That’s mine! shouted the puppy…
Our little visitor, another guide dog puppy, is visiting with us while his raisers recover from illness. Our visitor, 17 weeks and a ball of energy. Me, concerned: what do you mean? Dog: he doesn’t do what he’s supposed to do Me: what d’you mean? Dog: he stands when he piddles Me: yeeeeeeeah… Dog: and … Continue reading Something’s wrong with the puppy, said the dog.
Before you read this... for anyone who may not know... my first name is Victoria. My dad, ever the wag, named me not for HMTQ but in honor of the train depot in central London. That's another story... Dog: What that Cat: What? Dog: That… that… that Cat: The Christmas tree? It’s an abomination. Dog: … Continue reading What that?! Said the dog…
Me: what are you talking about? C’mere and cuddle me. Dog: Nope No free cuddles today Maybe tomorrow Me: Tom— what?! Dog: I… can… spell you one for two treaties Sound of paw hitting forehead comes from the direction of the sofa. Cat: SELL, ding dong, I can SELL you one for two treaties. Dog: … Continue reading Sorry, remarked the dog. All outta free cuddles.
It all started when Guide Dogs of America decided she would not be part of the breeder program. Cat: well, there’s a shocker. Me: don’t be meanies. Dog: I don’t understand Cat: Exactly. Dog: What? So last Tuesday, Miss M went under the knife. With great kindness, they asked we bring her to the facility … Continue reading I do not LIKE the Cone of Shame, said the dog, miserably.
Examining Misadventures 