Me: what are you talking about? C’mere and cuddle me.
Dog: Nope No free cuddles today Maybe tomorrow
Me: Tom— what?!
Dog: I… can… spell you one for two treaties
Sound of paw hitting forehead comes from the direction of the sofa.
Cat: SELL, ding dong, I can SELL you one for two treaties.
Dog: Yeah, that’s it sell
Me: Whaddo you mean, SELL me cuddles? What’re you, a hooker?
Dog: Um… no… I don’t think…
Cat: Tell her about the special.
Dog, straightening her posture: I now offer cuddle multi-placks Three for eight treaties
The next sound of something striking a forehead is from me.
Me: okay, seriously, WHAT is going on here? MaeMae, you miserable feline, what are you up to? Are you trying to teach the dog some whacked out macroeconomic theory?
Cat, raising eyebrows: Surely you jest. You think she could handle Milton Friedman?
Me: Don’t be meanies, and don’t forget I minored in the subject. Puppy, what did MaeMae promise you if you listened to this crap?
Cat: don’t answer that! Dog: no cat kissing and you give extra treaties
Me: MaeMae, do you understand one cuddle for two treats and three for eight is mathematically unsound and contraindicated by every economic model in existence?
Cat: Don’t look at me. I said three for five but she wanted to do three for eighteen. I talked her down.
Dog: oh oh oh I forgot the best bit You get your infestment re… re…
Cat: investment … refunded…
I raised one eyebrow.
The dog grinned from ear to ear.
Dog: I just went outside