Sorry, remarked the dog. All outta free cuddles.

Me: what are you talking about? C’mere and cuddle me.

Dog: Nope No free cuddles today Maybe tomorrow

Me: Tom— what?!

Dog: I… can… spell you one for two treaties

Sound of paw hitting forehead comes from the direction of the sofa.

Cat: SELL, ding dong, I can SELL you one for two treaties.

Dog: Yeah, that’s it sell

Me: Whaddo you mean, SELL me cuddles? What’re you, a hooker?

Dog: Um… no… I don’t think…

Cat: Tell her about the special.

Me: WHAT?

Dog, straightening her posture: I now offer cuddle multi-placks Three for eight treaties

The next sound of something striking a forehead is from me.

Me: okay, seriously, WHAT is going on here? MaeMae, you miserable feline, what are you up to? Are you trying to teach the dog some whacked out macroeconomic theory?

Cat, raising eyebrows: Surely you jest. You think she could handle Milton Friedman?

Me: Don’t be meanies, and don’t forget I minored in the subject. Puppy, what did MaeMae promise you if you listened to this crap?

Cat: don’t answer that! Dog: no cat kissing and you give extra treaties

Me: MaeMae, do you understand one cuddle for two treats and three for eight is mathematically unsound and contraindicated by every economic model in existence?

Cat: Don’t look at me. I said three for five but she wanted to do three for eighteen. I talked her down.

Dog: oh oh oh I forgot the best bit You get your infestment re… re…

Cat: investment … refunded…

I raised one eyebrow.

The dog grinned from ear to ear.

Dog: I just went outside

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s