The 17 week... excuse me, 18 week old pup is still with us. Due to unforeseen circumstances, he's probably got another week or so before he goes home. Dog: Hooray! Puppy: A dog who plays with me? I'm so in! But I wanna get back home, too... Cat: Excuse me, WHAT? The favorite game involves … Continue reading Hey! That’s mine! shouted the puppy…
Our little visitor, another guide dog puppy, is visiting with us while his raisers recover from illness. Our visitor, 17 weeks and a ball of energy. Me, concerned: what do you mean? Dog: he doesn’t do what he’s supposed to do Me: what d’you mean? Dog: he stands when he piddles Me: yeeeeeeeah… Dog: and … Continue reading Something’s wrong with the puppy, said the dog.
Before you read this... for anyone who may not know... my first name is Victoria. My dad, ever the wag, named me not for HMTQ but in honor of the train depot in central London. That's another story... Dog: What that Cat: What? Dog: That… that… that Cat: The Christmas tree? It’s an abomination. Dog: … Continue reading What that?! Said the dog…
Me: what are you talking about? C’mere and cuddle me. Dog: Nope No free cuddles today Maybe tomorrow Me: Tom— what?! Dog: I… can… spell you one for two treaties Sound of paw hitting forehead comes from the direction of the sofa. Cat: SELL, ding dong, I can SELL you one for two treaties. Dog: … Continue reading Sorry, remarked the dog. All outta free cuddles.
It all started when Guide Dogs of America decided she would not be part of the breeder program. Cat: well, there’s a shocker. Me: don’t be meanies. Dog: I don’t understand Cat: Exactly. Dog: What? So last Tuesday, Miss M went under the knife. With great kindness, they asked we bring her to the facility … Continue reading I do not LIKE the Cone of Shame, said the dog, miserably.
Me: Puppy? What’s wrong? Dog: I feel like hell. We’d noticed the dog was not her usual self on Sunday - she was flat out and kinda mopey. I’d thought it was because she’d had an awesome play date Saturday with another dog, but no… Cat, as usual going from calm to hysterical in seconds: … Continue reading Can I have two aspirin? Moaned the dog, And a heating pad?
Cat: A medium what? Dog: you know… a medium Cat: no, you are NOT a medium. You’re so not psychic, you sometimes don’t seem to know when you need to pee until it’s an emergency. Dog: no you don’t understand I got a medium Me: She’s wearing a medium guide dog puppy vest. Cat: Sheeeeeeet … Continue reading Dog: I am a medium!
That’s actually apropos of nothing, but my mother said that’s the kind of book that would grab my aunt’s attention and cause her to read it. She evidently likes intriguing starts. So Beloved wasn’t completely enthusiastic about my latest musical endeavor (I tend to make up songs, and what I lack in artistic ability I … Continue reading “Hell…” said the dog, as she climbed into bed…
The cat snorted. Future tense? I sighed. I did not say you’re going to be DAFT, I said. You’re going in the bath. Cat, rolling her eyes: How can you become something you already are? Dog (confused by cat): but… but.. I’m not IN the bath Cat: Case in point. Me: Knock it off. Puppy, … Continue reading But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused.
The dog scowled at me from the stairs. Having struggled against getting her vest on, she was now waiting for me to get her to the door so that we could go for a morning walk. I, however, was not about to say the magic word: “Come!” which results in a three treat bingo. Because … Continue reading I am a federal official, I said, and I can neither offer nor solicit bribes.
ExaminingMisadventures 