We got the name we wanted!

I’m not going to use it on here because, well, privacy, but it starts with M. Our puppy’s litter all starts with M (it helps identify which puppy originated where) so we got to give GDA (Guide Dogs of America) our list of top names and they let us know which was approved.

The yellow lab at nine weeks old
At home

Beloved announced the name to family, and my sister came back with “So they declined Mister Murder Britches?”

I love my sister, but sometimes she has a tapeworm in her imagination. Who the hell would name a dog that?? Also, I cannot see asking GDA if we could name one of their pups Mister Murder Britches.

Here’s the other problem: It’s Ms. Murder Britches. SHE is a yellow lab.

Except she’s not. It’s her first full day here and last night she proved, despite their meticulous breeding program, she’s part hound and part husky. She got up to pee about 12:30 and upon being put back to bed: Ow-wwwoooooowwwww wowwwwwwww woooowwwwwwww…. She brayed far better than our beloved half-beagle ever did.

The puppy wearing her yellow “puppy in training” vest
First time we tried on the vest. Smallest size is still much too big, but we can’t take her outside for at least another three – four weeks.

Then… have you ever heard a husky puppy talking? If not, YouTube it, it is the FUNNIEST thing. Bwow wow mow pow.

Then back to good ole puppy-whining. This was when the 230-page instruction manual came through for us. “Your puppy may whine or bark for a bit until he understands the routine.”

I swear we will be able to teach this dog to speak English. The only letter I haven’t heard her pronounce is “t”, and, let’s face it, that’s the least needed letter in the American lexicon. At a restaurant: “Kin I have sum buddah an’ a glass of waddah?”

Ooooooookay! Roll over and fall asleep. The Boy didn’t fare as well as we did. I gather once you hit 30, your hearing begins to deteriorate. Welp, he’s 24 and we’re in our 50s.

I’ve learned a few things in our first 48 hours:

DO purchase stock in the manufacturer of Nature’s Miracle. We only have two bottles and I’m figuring we should get more, just to have them available.

DO lay in a stock of t-shirts. The amount of pee and drool you will encounter is startling. And spray those peed on t-shirts with Nature’s Miracle before tossing them in yon washing machine.

DO NOT wear a fuzzy robe like those Costco sells at Christmas while “getting busy” in the middle of the night.

Dog: OH MY GOD it’s a giant plushie! FOR ME!!! Plushie for me! Plushie for meeeeeeee!!

Me: DAHHH! (Mustn’t say NO NO BAD DOG. Need diversionary toy… don’t have diversionary toy… oh no she’s gonna bloooowwwww…)

Dog: Plushie… must bite… must chew…

Me: (not needing to fake howl of pain…)

Instead of the fuzzy robe, I now have a heavy sweatshirt next to the bed. Fortunately it’s getting to winter so wearing light sweatpants to bed won’t be a problem.

DO calculate the average time between pees as fast as you get the data so you can estimate how long it will be.

Female dogs are stealth piddlers. You think they’re simply sitting but suddenly there’s an ever-widening pool around their backside. Or there’s a damp circle on your carpet.

DO roll up the wool rugs. Just roll them up and put them to the side. You don’t need that kind of stress. Cheap polyester rugs – whatever. Expensive woolen rugs… no.

DO NOT buy a pile of toys… yet. We did buy a Kong as GDA said those were good, and I’m thinking we’ll get another.

DO check with your co-raiser (if you’re lucky enough to have one) before taking the dog out at night. I spent 15 chilly, infuriating minutes at 9:45pm last night with el perro trying to get her to “get busy”. She looked at me with those puppy eyes and went “nooooooooot really…” and refused to walk to get her little puppy bladder moving.

Puppy in her crate
Asleep in her crate with Slothie, her sloth plushie

Went back to bed, sure she was gonna piddle in her crate.

At 12:30am, Beloved says above the wailing of the girly dog “have you taken her out already?”

“Yes. At 9:45 but she refused to pee. She’s probably busting a gut by now.”

“I took her out at 9:30. She peed up a storm.”

Moral… do not smother your Beloved for kindly allowing you to sleep. However, understand if you don’t check in before checking her out, the dog may wake you with her “I don’t wanna go back to sleep” whine and you’ll think it’s an “I gotta gooooo…” whine. Especially when you’re both exhausted and wont to sleep through the dog’s complaints.

So…. This. Is. Exhausting. Holy cow. I mean, I love dogs, but it’s exhausting. Thank GOD for Beloved, I wouldn’t be able to handle this alone, that’s for sure. Well, especially since I’m supposed to work during the week (and it frequently bleeds into the weekend).

It took me a while to wrap my head around our biggest task, and required a new friend explaining to me: we’re supposed to love the stuffings outta this puppy so she is a friendly, emotionally well developed dog. Yes, we’re supposed to teach her certain things, like sit, stay, etc. but loving this dog to bits is the most important.

Me holding the pupy
She’s tired out in this picture. Get a load of the size of those paws… not going to be able to hold her for that much longer.

If you’re thinking about puppy raising, I’d encourage you to look into it. I think I’m going to adore this dog even more when she’s house trained, but I’m already pretty infatuated. We have to remember she’s a foster – she’s not ours, not really – but we can help her on her way to the great things she’s going to do later.

Advertisement to raise puppies with Guide Dogs of America

One thought on “We got the name we wanted!

  1. This too (the sleepless nights!) shall pass! 🙂 Thank you for loving and raising Marley and giving her a great start in reaching her goal of becoming a guide dog or service dog for someone who needs her (and will love her) just as much as you love her!


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