I’m hungry, whined the dog. And I gotta pee.

I raise my head off the pillow and looked over at Beloved. “It’s 38° out there,” I said, “I really don’t wanna go outside.”

“I don’t.” she said.


“I don’t go outside. I open the door and let her out.”

“Excuse me,” I said “What do you mean?  We have to take her out on leash.”

“Not every time,” she said. “At night I open the back door and she runs out, goes on the lawn and runs back inside. I only do it at night.  During the day I put her on a leash and take her to where she supposed to pee.’

I looked at her sideways.  “That’s cheating!”

“No, that’s sensible.  It’s damn cold.”

Well, hell, I’m gonna give it a try… so I climbed out of bed, let the dog out of her crate, went downstairs, opened the slider… and the dog sat and looked at me.

Dog: you forgot something 

Me: No I didn’t.

Dog: Yeah! You forgot my leash

Me:  No.  You go outside pee on the grass and come back in. 

The dog cut me a side eye. Um… no.  I hafta go out, you go too. 

Me: No. You just go on the lawn like you do with other mommy.

Dog: that’s not the way this works. You take me out.

Well, now we’re going to do it like other mommy does.

Dog:  Hey, why you shoving me up my backside? 

Through gritted teeth as an artic blast shot through the open door:  Just go! 

The dog resisted.

Come on, go! and I helped her a lot little.

She reluctantly went outside in the screaming cold and wind. 

Dog:  It’s cold out here!

I crack the door open and loudly say “just get busy!” 

“No!” said the dog.  “It’s cold and you have to be here too!” 

No I don’t!

Yes you do!

Apply palm to forehead at rapid speed.

She skulked in, scowled, and waited for me to clip on her leash… which I did.

Unnngh.  GOD that was cold.

She didn’t wait to go to the designated piddle spot – as soon as I closed the door behind me, she peed.


Dog: man, I had to GO.

Dog on rug with plastic squeak toy
Little stinker.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s