Granny (my mom) was taking the dregs of her morning coffee to water the camellias, so she opened the front door, shooing the visiting dogs out of the way. You gotta understand, my mom is tiny.
Our golden retriever visitors are not. One guide dog puppy and one breeder mama dog.
Especially when the puppy spied MaeMae in the front yard.
Puppy, wide eyed: IT’S THE SQUIRRELCAT
Puppy, elbowing Granny out of the way: COME HERE SQUIRRELCAT I WANNA MEEEEEEEET YOOOOOOOOOU SQUIRRRRRRRREEEEELLLL CAAAAAAAAAT
Cat: oh f😳ck
The cat shot off like a rocket, hotly pursued by the pup.
Slightly freaked (jailbreak!) I took off after the dog, checking to make sure my mom was intact en route.
Granny: yes, yes, dear – she went that way (pointing down the street).
She’d only gotten as far as the next door neighbor’s, where she treed the cat. The noises coming from the olive tree were none too polite.
Puppy: I just wanted to meet her thass all I wouldn’t hurt her I never met a squirrel ‘fore not up close anyways
Cat, furious, peering out of the tree: And you still haven’t, ding dong! I’m a cat, dammit!
Puppy: Thass what I said squirrelcat
Cat: I wonder if I could take an Uber to the shelter…
MaeMae’s actually gotten better with these two dogs, a guide dog puppy, very eager, and a breeder mama, both goldens. Or at least she was.
The third morning, she decided to stand her ground. This is her house, dammit, and she was done with those overeager monsters chasing after her.
I have to be at my computer at 6:30 this week, so I’ve taken to feeding her first thing, then letting her out, then letting the dogs out of their crates, first to pee then to eat. Then they’re back to bed for a while. I need to work and Beloved needs to sleep, as she’s been working herself to the bone lately.
So, I fed MaeMae and opened the slider for her to go out, thinking she’d head for the hills (or the neighbor’s yard, at least). Coming downstairs at the speed of sound, the puppy stopped on a dime.
Puppy, spotting MaeMae on the back of the sofa: SQUIRRELCAT squirrelcat you in the house waiting to meet meeeeee hooraaaaaaay
Cat: oh, for godsake, I have NOTHING TO DO WITH SQUIRRELS.
Puppy, front feet on sofa: sure thing I get it squirrelcat
Mama dog, gently: not a squirrel
Puppy gleefully jumping forward: I know I know not a squirrel… squirrelcat
Cat: BACK. UP.
Puppy: but… but…
Me: c’mon, ladies, outside!
Puppy: rats see you later squirrelcat
MaeMae: (deep, throaty growl)
So MaeMae spent most of the morning in the house, unlike the last three days. In the evening, she defiantly held her ground on the cat shelves.
The next morning, I repeated the process. MaeMae only ate half her breakfast so I picked up her bowl, set it far back on the counter, and shoved her outdoors. Then I let the dogs out and… well… I can’t keep up with a year old golden.
I hollered “let’s go” to her rapidly retreating backside, trying to get her out the slider. Ignoring me, she headed for the kitchen.
CRASH. Oh, sh😡t.
I sprinted (as much as the joints would allow) and found the two dogs woefully pawing at the upside down cat bowl.
Me: seriously? You have to grab that?
Puppy: I don’t understand it had dishous food
Mama: gotta flip the bowl
Scowling, I picked up the bowl to find the puppy had somehow managed to tongue the cat food out even as it flipped and crashed to the tile floor.
Making things worse, MaeMae was outside, furious about what just transpired. That was the rest of her breakfast the puppy had just inhaled.
The dogs have gone back home now, and MaeMae jumps out at me and bites. Hard.
ExaminingMisadventures 