Tag: Comedy

The dog sprinted out of the kitchen like a marine under fire: furtive, low to the ground and moving at high speed.

Unfortunately, she did this just as I rounded the corner and catapulted away from me as we collided. Skidding, she regained her balance, shot under the table, grabbed something in her mouth and galloped to her bed in the corner. What the hell? So when I give her a “peanut butter ball-y” (a Kong filled … Continue reading The dog sprinted out of the kitchen like a marine under fire: furtive, low to the ground and moving at high speed. →

I did not do it said the dog, looking worried.

Didn’t do what? I said. Cat: she’s worried you think she did it. Me: what is this supposed transgression? Cat: I don’t actually know. Dog: not me not me Cat, looking outside the window: holy crap! The cat looks shaken. I’m puzzled, but I’m still getting dressed. This body is not one that will be … Continue reading I did not do it said the dog, looking worried. →

I need to tell you something, I said.

Blondie:  What?  I’m kind of working here.  Why aren’t you on your way home? Me:  We were… I mean, we are.  We’ve loved spending the past few days with you and BB (Blondie's Beau), but I need to tell you what I sprung on him at the last minute. Blondie:  Oh, god. Let me back … Continue reading I need to tell you something, I said. →

Bison are beautiful, majestic animals but by gum, they crap like nothing I’ve ever seen.

MOUNTAINS of bison poo. Beloved took this photo. We’re at Yellowstone, Beloved and I. Miss M is having a vacation - splitting her three weeks between spa time at the GDA facility and another puppy raiser, who is graciously having her to stay. It’s a good thing too, because I wouldn’t want to have an … Continue reading Bison are beautiful, majestic animals but by gum, they crap like nothing I’ve ever seen. →

“Hell…” said the dog, as she climbed into bed…

That’s actually apropos of nothing, but my mother said that’s the kind of book that would grab my aunt’s attention and cause her to read it. She evidently likes intriguing starts. So Beloved wasn’t completely enthusiastic about my latest musical endeavor (I tend to make up songs, and what I lack in artistic ability I … Continue reading “Hell…” said the dog, as she climbed into bed… →

But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused.

The cat snorted. Future tense? I sighed. I did not say you’re going to be DAFT, I said. You’re going in the bath. Cat, rolling her eyes: How can you become something you already are? Dog (confused by cat): but… but.. I’m not IN the bath Cat: Case in point. Me: Knock it off. Puppy, … Continue reading But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused. →

I am a federal official, I said, and I can neither offer nor solicit bribes.

The dog scowled at me from the stairs.  Having struggled against getting her vest on, she was now waiting for me to get her to the door so that we could go for a morning walk. I, however, was not about to say the magic word: “Come!” which results in a three treat bingo.  Because … Continue reading I am a federal official, I said, and I can neither offer nor solicit bribes. →