Well, I don’t know what it means to you, but to me, it’s late night bargain hunting. Type in $5 clearance to Walmart’s app and see what you find. Among the peanut butter flavored ferret treats (for real!) and the letter U wedding-cake topper there’s some eye popping lingerie for all kinds of interests. Holy … Continue reading The Dark Side of the Web
The cat snorted. Future tense? I sighed. I did not say you’re going to be DAFT, I said. You’re going in the bath. Cat, rolling her eyes: How can you become something you already are? Dog (confused by cat): but… but.. I’m not IN the bath Cat: Case in point. Me: Knock it off. Puppy, … Continue reading But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused.
The dog scowled at me from the stairs. Having struggled against getting her vest on, she was now waiting for me to get her to the door so that we could go for a morning walk. I, however, was not about to say the magic word: “Come!” which results in a three treat bingo. Because … Continue reading I am a federal official, I said, and I can neither offer nor solicit bribes.
I raise my head off the pillow and looked over at Beloved. “It’s 38° out there,” I said, “I really don’t wanna go outside.” “I don’t.” she said. What? “I don’t go outside. I open the door and let her out.” “Excuse me,” I said “What do you mean? We have to take her out … Continue reading I’m hungry, whined the dog. And I gotta pee.
So Abby the dog has been a pain in the butt lately, digging around for trash and whatever. It’s also now the season for making fruitcakes and Christmas puds, not that they’re trash, and as is tradition Mummy makes everyone give the batter a stir and make a wish. Since this occurs on Sunday, and … Continue reading The Dog and the Xmas Pud, 2018
We all, actually, have a case of cabin fever. We had a bit of a scare nearly two weeks ago as one of the puppy’s classmates came down with a puppy illness after attending class. However, our puppy went to class with her, then to class then next week. Right after the second class we … Continue reading The dog has a fever. It’s bad.
The entire country’s domesticated animal population didn’t consider me a corpse, but they thought as much of their respective owners. Time change is a bitch. However, if she gets exhausted and wants to nap earlier… heck, I’m down with that. One of the evil, super-slippery knee-busters. She also keeps growing. It’s getting harder to hold … Continue reading The puppy was convinced I was dead.
The best ice pack, if anyone is interested, is made from a 1-1 mix of water and rotgut vodka. The internet will tell you to use a 2-1 mix of water to rubbing alcohol, but inevitably the bags leak (thank you, MaeMae and your razor claws) and if it leaks while you sleep, it’s a … Continue reading Bitter? Me?
Every day the puppy comes out of her crate two inches longer and three pounds heavier, I swear. She’s growing at the speed of sound. And in the mornings, she is so full of energy, it knocks you off your feet. Thankfully, MaeMae the crotchety cat is actually starting to play with her. It’s a … Continue reading The cat’s warming up…
I’m in pain. Pain, I tell you. The cutthroat Cribbage competition is underway. Each family holiday in Yosemite we have such a contest, primarily at the behest of my dad, who taught us to play and loved the game. This is our first return trip since he passed in 2015. Typically, we go to a … Continue reading It’s All Fun & Games…
Examining Misadventures 