It was a little nerve wracking what with our somewhat lacking heights (me, 5’4” and she, 5’3”). We have to tote stepladders in the SUV and still it’s a hellava stretch. We’re discovering ways to get the 39lb sit-ins loaded, like putting it on upside down and flipping it in. “Damn,” said Beloved. “That’s so … Continue reading We took our new kayaks out for the first time… no, not with the dog.
Unfortunately, she did this just as I rounded the corner and catapulted away from me as we collided. Skidding, she regained her balance, shot under the table, grabbed something in her mouth and galloped to her bed in the corner. What the hell? So when I give her a “peanut butter ball-y” (a Kong filled … Continue reading The dog sprinted out of the kitchen like a marine under fire: furtive, low to the ground and moving at high speed.
Didn’t do what? I said. Cat: she’s worried you think she did it. Me: what is this supposed transgression? Cat: I don’t actually know. Dog: not me not me Cat, looking outside the window: holy crap! The cat looks shaken. I’m puzzled, but I’m still getting dressed. This body is not one that will be … Continue reading I did not do it said the dog, looking worried.
Blondie: What? I’m kind of working here. Why aren’t you on your way home? Me: We were… I mean, we are. We’ve loved spending the past few days with you and BB (Blondie's Beau), but I need to tell you what I sprung on him at the last minute. Blondie: Oh, god. Let me back … Continue reading I need to tell you something, I said.
No, it’s not, I said. Yes it is, shouted the hound. We gotta get OUT of here!! Puppy… we’re in church. It’s Easter. That’s incense, not smoke, and while I agree it’s smelly, nothing’s going to hurt us. She was still uncomfortable with the idea so halfway through the first hymn we exited the building. … Continue reading Fire! Screamed the dog. The building’s on fire!!
Miss M had done another one of her overnights away from us - this time with the amazing puppy raiser who is going to keep her while we’re away on vacation. This woman and her mom are saints. Our beloved guide dog puppy is... challenging at the best of times. Miss M with another dog at … Continue reading The dog was beside herself with happiness.
Cat: A medium what? Dog: you know… a medium Cat: no, you are NOT a medium. You’re so not psychic, you sometimes don’t seem to know when you need to pee until it’s an emergency. Dog: no you don’t understand I got a medium Me: She’s wearing a medium guide dog puppy vest. Cat: Sheeeeeeet … Continue reading Dog: I am a medium!
That’s actually apropos of nothing, but my mother said that’s the kind of book that would grab my aunt’s attention and cause her to read it. She evidently likes intriguing starts. So Beloved wasn’t completely enthusiastic about my latest musical endeavor (I tend to make up songs, and what I lack in artistic ability I … Continue reading “Hell…” said the dog, as she climbed into bed…
The cat snorted. Future tense? I sighed. I did not say you’re going to be DAFT, I said. You’re going in the bath. Cat, rolling her eyes: How can you become something you already are? Dog (confused by cat): but… but.. I’m not IN the bath Cat: Case in point. Me: Knock it off. Puppy, … Continue reading But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused.
The dog scowled at me from the stairs. Having struggled against getting her vest on, she was now waiting for me to get her to the door so that we could go for a morning walk. I, however, was not about to say the magic word: “Come!” which results in a three treat bingo. Because … Continue reading I am a federal official, I said, and I can neither offer nor solicit bribes.
Examining Misadventures 