The Dog’s a Stoner…

Okay, so one’s stoned, the other’s a total witch.  Honestly.

Abby the dog on sofa

So Abby the puggle’s mental state is deteriorating, not terribly surprising for a 14 year old.  Add the fact that she’s mostly blind, almost completely deaf and her honker works only at close range, and she’s a pathetic little pup. But she’s still adorable and so loved, despite the incessant barking, which we’re trying to address.

With the mental deterioration has come serious barking – she has Cushing’s Disease, which makes her hungry all the time (oh, no… I’m hungry all the time… but no other symptoms…) and also causes her muscles to lose tone and she pants at night. She’ll get lost in the house, and she’ll just stand and bark until someone comes and touches her, so she knows she’s not alone.

So, to help with the barking and anxiety, we just started her on a sedative.  The vet said if that doesn’t work, we’ll try pot.

Um… what?

Great.  Dog sucking on a doobie, sitting back on her haunches and muttering “Man, this is some good shit…”

Hopefully it won’t come to that, and anyway, I’ve been corrected, it would be CBD, not pot. Well, that’s good, because I’m not really up for going out shopping for weed, even though Los Angeles reportedly has more pot shops than Starbucks at this point.

This afternoon, she was with Granny when the morning pill wore off. My mom said the dog clearly came to then gave her a piece of her mind about getting her stoned. BOWWOWWOW!!

Roughly translates to F-you for giving me that crap. Then the dog staggered home for dinner.

Dog in carriage

I’m really hoping the sedative works, as we’re taking her to Yosemite. She loves it there but we haven’t been there in… ooooh, six or seven years. At least. We took her up to see Blondie (daughter) last year, but her sight and hearing have deteriorated since then, and she’s gotten way, waaaaaaay more barky. I’m a little anxious about it myself, but Beloved is confident it’ll be fine.

We stay in a fully equipped cabin, and Granny (my mom) is going to join us, so she’ll have three familiar people around, but she won’t know where the furniture is or anything. Definitely need to bring the Princess Carriage, although Beloved says it’s not necessary (and we really don’t have room in the car).

The other animal, MaeMae (AKA Bitey), is equally frustrating.  We’ve now seen her several times playing boppyhead with the gophers (see  to understand, if you haven’t read about that…). 

Cat asleep in window

Beloved found a dead gopher on the back lawn, but the critter was, apparently, an intact corpse… it wasn’t chewed or anything, which to me indicates the cat didn’t off it.  Instead, I posit the gopher saw its progeny playing boppyhead with a predator, had a massive cardiac event and went toes up on the grass.

Either way, one less gopher, which is good news in my book.  Bastards continue to make the lawn look like there’s been a miniature war in process, with bunkers and underground tunnels dug everywhere.

MaeMae contributes to the overall appearance of a war zone with her preoccupation of lizards.  At times, you can go on the back patio and it looks like the beach at Dunkirk strewn with little rapidly mummifying reptiles.  This cheeses everyone off, as the lizards keep the ant population at bay.

She, however, is not heading to the national park – instead, she’ll get to stay home with The Boy (our son), who is not on the same sleep schedule as I am. Alas, MaeMae is used to a six am breakfast. The question will be, who will win? The cat howling, or The Boy flinging pillows at his closed door? Personally, I think el gato will get a wee bit skinnier (or at least learn to eat a little later) while we’re away.

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