You know when you thought it would be soooo awesome to pourJello in the pool and bounce around on it?
Yeaaaaah. No, we don’t have a pool at this vacation cabin in Yosemite, but this place we’re renting has a mattress that’s a remarkable approximation. Except it’s not a pool, it’s the size of a small jacuzzi and god bless, me, Beloved and yon hound on it, the damn thing collapses like a giant plank of semi-soft tofu, enclosing us in its maw.
Twenty-odd years ago, this was probably an amazing memory foam mattress. Now, it’s a freaking nightmare. It’s remembering all the sumo wrestlers that have slept in it over the years.
The dog started out trying to sleep between us as usual but rapidly realized the likelihood of asphyxiation. She now saws logs at the foot of the bed, except in her slumber her body angles itself back. A dog stretched out lengthwise on a full size collapsing mattress adds to the pain.
I’ve been waking up in the fetal position. Stomach sleeping is outta the question, your back doesn’t bend that way unless you’re involved in medieval torture.
It’s a good thing this mattress version of Audrey II has a headboard. I wouldn’t be able to extricate myself otherwise and we’d die there, sadly clawing at the edges of this flaccid foam.
Otherwise, this cabin is amazing. Two bedrooms are en suite, and the third uses the full bath in the hall. During this vacation, Granny is the drifter, moving from room to room as family members arrive and depart to accommodate needs.
There’s a pool table in the great room. Haven’t used it yet… Beloved spent much time during childhood playing pool and I will inevitably get my backside handed to me on a platter. I imagine it’ll be in for some serious usage when the kids arrive over the weekend.