“Thank GOD that’s over,” remarked the cat.

I paused (this was last week). “What d’you mean?”

Cat: That… that… DOG went back to it’s raisers. It was awful. We’re never doing that again.

I looked at the ceiling.

Cat: Right? We’re not doing that again, RIGHT?

Me, with a giant smile: Well… I can honestly say we won’t have a single dog for quite some time.

Cat: why are you grinning like an idiot?

Me: noooooo reason. None at all. Nope, nope, nope.

Cat: seriously, that dog chased me into the weeds on the bank and it took three hours to flatten my tail.

Me: she was just trying to play.

Cat: She wanted to EAT me.

… Four days later she was meandering down the back bank and stopped dead.

Okay… in my defense… I told her we weren’t going to have a single dog for some time.

Once again, we were hosting dogs who’d never seen a cat before. The redder dog, a bit skinnier than the other, is a year old and a guide dog puppy in training. The other was a puppy in training but was pulled for their breeder program. She’s had one litter so far and is also full of beans.

If you’re wondering about the whole breeding thing, the dogs only have a few litters then they’re retired. They’re fixed, then given to the raiser or adopted out as a pet. This is NO puppy mill – GDA’s geneticist keeps a very close watch on the breeding.

Also, they trade dogs with other guide dog facilities around the world for genetic diversity – one little guy just took a very, very long couple of plane rides to go from California to Israel.

So the breeder dogs are different – they’re no longer guide dogs in training, so they lose their vest, and the ability to go places where service dogs go. As a result, having a breeder dog and a pup in training meant when we went to the theater, we could bring the pupper but not the mama.

Mama was unhappy with not accompanying us. However, I learned from the last dog – no towels or anything else left in the crate.

She still managed to kick the tray out of the crate, but at least there wasn’t carnage involving an ancient beach towel.

But back to yon cat. By the time the last puppy left, they were almost meeting up – but the last pup was only here two nights. These two will be here twice that. But there’s twice the dogs, too.

Pup: what the heck is THAT

Mama: gopher maybe

Pup: a squirrel it’s gotta be a squirrel

An audible groan came from the bank.

MaeMae: when will these freakin’ dogs understand I’m a CAT?!!

The dogs were really intent upon meeting the cat, but I think two unfamiliar hounds were a bit much for her. Even when they were both crated for the night, she was unwilling to come into the bedroom.

After a bit of a rough night (two piddle trips, one barf cleanup, lots of complaining about the accommodations) we went out back. Nothing has fully dried out since all the rains we’ve had.

There’s a reason they call waterless dog wash fresh grass scent. It’s because you can’t get the smell out of the dog after she rolls in dirt and a damp dew soaked lawn. Still, it works really well getting the worst of the grubtubs off before they come back inside – you simply squirt and wipe.

Puppy: hey, knock it off

Me: you’re disgusting. What did you do? You have mud all over your floof!!

Puppy: a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do

Me: not when I have to clean up after it.

Mama: it’s really not so bad she just squirts that on you and wipes it off you know I really don’t like it when you lift my paws it’s quite uncomfortable

Puppy: NO STOP IT YOU’RE POISONING ME ITS SOAKING IN THROUGH MY PORES

Me: It’s on your floof not your skin, dingy. Lemme just wipe…

Puppy: NOOOOOOOOOO

Cat, from the bushes: thank god she’ll never do that to me. She’d bleed to death first. That and I am not an unwashed heathen.

Puppy: what’s a heaven

Me: Heathen, sweetheart, heath… never mind.

Mama: it’s right after the Rainbow Bridge

Cat, shouting: oh for godssake! Rainbow Bridge! No such thing!

Two dogs and I gaped at the green bush. Me: oh yes there IS!! Mama: my mommy told me all about it Puppy: what’s a rainbow

Me, muttering toward the cat: well, when YOU die it won’t be the Rainbow Bridge you go to anyway…