I love goldens…

They’re such goofballs. They take a bit longer to mature than labs, but they have the sweetest natures. They’re so pure hearted, and deviousness is completely foreign to them.

Sadly, not all creatures are the same…

So we had the golden boy for a few days. What a lovely lad he is – almost six months and a total love bug . He just wants to be with you… being alone isn’t the great thing as far as he’s concerned.

So he came with us for a lot of activities – wow, he slept through the entire performance of Frozen by the local community theater. He got up at intermission, used the little retriever’s room (okay, the lawn) and went back to pass out again.

He was super polite and very well behaved. Our problem, however, was loading up the car.

Having two roomies (my son and Granny), our garage is rather full, but we still manage, most of the time, to squeeze the cars in. However, that means we have to pull them right up to the sides, one pulled in and the other backed in, so the drivers can get out. Everyone else riding in the car is evicted before we park in there.

Well, that’s great except when you’re trying to load the car up with yon dog, and you’re alone and holding a pile of stuff as well as his leash.

All the guide dogs are trained to hop into the footwell on the passenger’s side, and they’re taught not to go on the seats.

I was already stressed getting everything together but I should’ve taken the time to pull the car out. Instead I figured I’d just have him climb over the driver’s seat and down into the footwell.

Me: C’mon, pupper, in you go.

Puppy: Um no sorry Daddy says I mustn’t so no getting on seats

Me: Okay, I’m giving you permission. Daddy’s not here. I’m telling you to just climb in.

Puppy: Maybe if I go through your footie space I can squee nope nope not gonna fit sorry no

Me: Please? How about if we give you a treatie…?

Puppy: Keep talking

Me: Guess what! (flings treat into other footwell) Go get it, boy!

Puppy: Where I no see treatie better throw another

Me, peering into the car: It’s right… DAAAH. Fine. (Tosses another treat)

Puppy: Nope still can’t see anything and your aim sucks

Me: Okay you can use that olfactory device at the end of your face!

Puppy: I no understand but I suppose I could smell them if I were a little closer

Me: EXACTLY!! Hop in and get the treaties!

Puppy: That would require getting on the seats and I thought we talked about that already why not just hand me the treatie

Me, hoofing him up the backside: Get. In. The. Car.

Puppy, giving me side eye: Who trained you you not good with rules

Me: It’s ninety million degrees outside get in the car

Puppy: I not supposed to get on FINE I’m going

Me: Okay, good. Keep going, there’s a good boy.

Puppy, planting his floofy butt on the passenger seat: Hey this is a good view from here and softy too okay I stay here

Me: what? NO.