Tag: pet humor

Our doggy visitor is remarkably like my grandfather.

My grandfather was a wonderful man, kind, generous, gentle. On one topic, however, there was no budging the man... and I suppose I get it, he served as a British captain in the Great War ("Did I march down the quay to the ship to cross the Channel? Good god noh, my deah, I rode... … Continue reading Our doggy visitor is remarkably like my grandfather. →

Does the no. 6 bus go to the shelter? Inquired the cat.

Me: No. Why? Cat: Damn. That means changing. Me: You looking to rehome? Cat, snorting: Me? After all the time I've spent training you? You gotta be kidding. No. I don't want Granny driving that far. Me, confused: You changed your mind? You want another companion? And why would Granny go? Incredulous look from cat: … Continue reading Does the no. 6 bus go to the shelter? Inquired the cat. →

GET OFF, DAMMIT! Screeched the cat…

Beloved jumped out of bed. Crap! Is that MaeMae? Me: chance’d be a fine thing. Beloved: Shut up, honey, you know you love that cat. I snorted. Like I love going to the dentist. The cat streaked along the fence, screaming “INCOMING!!” Flinging herself into the house, panting, el feline was shaken up. Cat: F😳ccccck! … Continue reading GET OFF, DAMMIT! Screeched the cat… →

“Oh my GOSH!” Shouted the visitor. “A Chihuahua!”

MaeMae: oh sh🤬t, WHERE?! Visiting five month old puppy, Miss A: oh my gosh!! A TALKING Chihuahua! Miss A MaeMae, looking around: what? ME?! I’m a cat, you dingdong! Miss A: Are you KIDDING me? A Chihuahua ca… MaeMae: don’t. You. Dare. MaeMae, glaring at me: for Pete’s sake, can’t you find dogs that have … Continue reading “Oh my GOSH!” Shouted the visitor. “A Chihuahua!” →

“Outta my WAAAAAAAAY!” Screamed the puppy.

Granny (my mom) was taking the dregs of her morning coffee to water the camellias, so she opened the front door, shooing the visiting dogs out of the way. You gotta understand, my mom is tiny. Granny and the pup Our golden retriever visitors are not. One guide dog puppy and one breeder mama dog. … Continue reading “Outta my WAAAAAAAAY!” Screamed the puppy. →

“Thank GOD that’s over,” remarked the cat.

I paused (this was last week). "What d'you mean?" Cat: That... that... DOG went back to it's raisers. It was awful. We're never doing that again. I looked at the ceiling. Cat: Right? We're not doing that again, RIGHT? Me, with a giant smile: Well... I can honestly say we won't have a single dog … Continue reading “Thank GOD that’s over,” remarked the cat. →

“We need another animal,” remarked the cat.

Slack-jawed, I stared at her. “You want another dog?!” Cat, impatiently: No. But it’s… a little empty around here. Something else… to… liven the place up a bit. Me: Okay, you know the group leader was petitioning us to take a puppy asap, right? Cat: A puppy… is not… challenging enough. I need to be … Continue reading “We need another animal,” remarked the cat. →