Tag: Pets

I need to tell you something, I said.

Blondie:  What?  I’m kind of working here.  Why aren’t you on your way home? Me:  We were… I mean, we are.  We’ve loved spending the past few days with you and BB (Blondie's Beau), but I need to tell you what I sprung on him at the last minute. Blondie:  Oh, god. Let me back … Continue reading I need to tell you something, I said. →

Fire! Screamed the dog. The building’s on fire!!

No, it’s not, I said. Yes it is, shouted the hound. We gotta get OUT of here!! Puppy… we’re in church. It’s Easter. That’s incense, not smoke, and while I agree it’s smelly, nothing’s going to hurt us. She was still uncomfortable with the idea so halfway through the first hymn we exited the building. … Continue reading Fire! Screamed the dog. The building’s on fire!! →

“Hell…” said the dog, as she climbed into bed…

That’s actually apropos of nothing, but my mother said that’s the kind of book that would grab my aunt’s attention and cause her to read it. She evidently likes intriguing starts. So Beloved wasn’t completely enthusiastic about my latest musical endeavor (I tend to make up songs, and what I lack in artistic ability I … Continue reading “Hell…” said the dog, as she climbed into bed… →

But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused.

The cat snorted. Future tense? I sighed. I did not say you’re going to be DAFT, I said. You’re going in the bath. Cat, rolling her eyes: How can you become something you already are? Dog (confused by cat): but… but.. I’m not IN the bath Cat: Case in point. Me: Knock it off. Puppy, … Continue reading But… why am I going to be daft? Said the dog, confused. →

I am a federal official, I said, and I can neither offer nor solicit bribes.

The dog scowled at me from the stairs.  Having struggled against getting her vest on, she was now waiting for me to get her to the door so that we could go for a morning walk. I, however, was not about to say the magic word: “Come!” which results in a three treat bingo.  Because … Continue reading I am a federal official, I said, and I can neither offer nor solicit bribes. →

I’m hungry, whined the dog. And I gotta pee.

I raise my head off the pillow and looked over at Beloved. “It’s 38° out there,” I said, “I really don’t wanna go outside.” “I don’t.” she said. What?  “I don’t go outside. I open the door and let her out.” “Excuse me,” I said “What do you mean?  We have to take her out … Continue reading I’m hungry, whined the dog. And I gotta pee. →

The Dog’s in Danger

Blondie’s home and it’s not my neighbor’s wife she’s coveting. She rather fancies a pup and Miss M is, frankly, charming. I’m gonna be checking the trunk before she and her boyfriend peel outta the driveway. Blondie just read that over my shoulder and muttered “we wouldn’t keep her in the trunk…”. Okay, I’ll be … Continue reading The Dog’s in Danger →