Dog, from the corner of her mouth: stop it MaeMae I’m working The cat popped her tail another one. “My goodness!” said the lady who had stopped to talk, “that cat seems very comfortable with that dog.” Dog; she’s a pain in the butt cat: not as bad as you! me ignoring animals: she is… … Continue reading The cat smiled with evil intent and swatted the dog’s tail.
It all started when Guide Dogs of America decided she would not be part of the breeder program. Cat: well, there’s a shocker. Me: don’t be meanies. Dog: I don’t understand Cat: Exactly. Dog: What? So last Tuesday, Miss M went under the knife. With great kindness, they asked we bring her to the facility … Continue reading I do not LIKE the Cone of Shame, said the dog, miserably.
Dog: what you mean Cat, recoiling: you smell horrendous. I mean, not that you don’t on an average day, but crap on a cracker, you are appalling. Dog: I got chased by water it was grubby Cat: Maaaan, I knew you were dim, but chased by WATER?! Maybe the walking can opener tried to shoot … Continue reading Oh, my GOD, said the cat. You STINK!
Cat: what the f😳ck is THAT?!! Me: what does it look like? Dog, pacing in her crate upstairs to the extent it will allow: I can’t see I can’t see Cat: you did NOT. Dog: What? WHAT The 11 week old golden retriever shifted a little in my arms, unaccustomed to this new place. Our little visitor… … Continue reading The cat stared, wide eyed and in shock.
I leaned over her, a bit worried. I looked over at the dog, now flat on her belly with her paws over her nose. She wasn’t scratching at the Halti (the halter which covers the bridge of her nose and encourages good behavior - if she jumps or makes a hard turn, it pinches a … Continue reading “What on earth is the matter with the dog?” my mother asked, concerned.
Yes, she’ll probably make a terrific service dog, but seriously, there’s something else to which she would be far more suited. My baby should be in pictures. This girl is more dramatic than Sarah Bernhardt. The performance she gave in front of the neighbor’s house while wearing her Halti was of Oscar caliber. She’s spent … Continue reading The puppy is preparing for the wrong profession.
It was a little nerve wracking what with our somewhat lacking heights (me, 5’4” and she, 5’3”). We have to tote stepladders in the SUV and still it’s a hellava stretch. We’re discovering ways to get the 39lb sit-ins loaded, like putting it on upside down and flipping it in. “Damn,” said Beloved. “That’s so … Continue reading We took our new kayaks out for the first time… no, not with the dog.
Unfortunately, she did this just as I rounded the corner and catapulted away from me as we collided. Skidding, she regained her balance, shot under the table, grabbed something in her mouth and galloped to her bed in the corner. What the hell? So when I give her a “peanut butter ball-y” (a Kong filled … Continue reading The dog sprinted out of the kitchen like a marine under fire: furtive, low to the ground and moving at high speed.
Didn’t do what? I said. Cat: she’s worried you think she did it. Me: what is this supposed transgression? Cat: I don’t actually know. Dog: not me not me Cat, looking outside the window: holy crap! The cat looks shaken. I’m puzzled, but I’m still getting dressed. This body is not one that will be … Continue reading I did not do it said the dog, looking worried.
No, it’s not, I said. Yes it is, shouted the hound. We gotta get OUT of here!! Puppy… we’re in church. It’s Easter. That’s incense, not smoke, and while I agree it’s smelly, nothing’s going to hurt us. She was still uncomfortable with the idea so halfway through the first hymn we exited the building. … Continue reading Fire! Screamed the dog. The building’s on fire!!
Examining Misadventures 